and so I fell into his arms... {minizerk}

Messy mornings

Simons POV

Josh still lay peacefully in my arms, head snuggled into my chest and hair tousled from sleep. His chest rose and fell softly as the clock ticked, second by second, minute by minute, and I just watched. I know being bi, it's a big thing, well it used to be. Showing homosexual feelings, that used to be frowned upon, but come on we live in the 21st century, how could Freya have turned such a beautiful man away. The sidemen top that adorned his toned figure was slightly baggy and the briefs he wore were tight. Just lying there, not a care, perfectly still with the sun casting slivers of yellow orange light upon his tan cheeks and clothed chest. Green flickered through his lashes as he blinked open his eyes; focusing on his surroundings before they finally made contact with my own. A smile pressed on his lips as he whispered good morning in a sleepy, deep and raspy morning voice... It was only 1:03pm, he had said two words and already I wanted to kiss him... But technically he still has a girlfriend... I'm just a friend, an angony aunt by day and a cuddle pillow by night. That was all I was here for; it just made it worse the fact that I was lay in the same bed as my crush as of the last 2 and a half years.
After a small, slightly awkward conversation about Freya and their relationship, we got out of bed... Neither of us bothered getting changed- Vikk was somewhere on a beautiful holiday, exploring and most likely catching Pokémon and as for JJ, he could've been anywhere; America, London, Birmingham, Scotland, The middle of the Sahara, no one really asked anymore, no one really remembered. So we made our way downstairs both clad with the boxer briefs and t-shirts from the night before. Josh led us into the kitchen, searching through the cupboards for any sort of food. He tutted and muttered as he open the fridge and the freezer before turning and saying, "pancakes or frozen pizza?" I furrowed my brows and giggled. "I'll take pancakes dad" Josh rolled his eyes and sighed, muttering "pizza sounded good though" just loud enough for me to here. Even though I was laughing, I think Josh was being deadly serious. Yeah, everybody calls him dad, saying he looks the most mature and is the most controlling, but the fact was Josh was the weirdest and most childish person I knew. He has no sense of timing, but he can be organised, sometimes he can be serious, but most of the time he's tuned in to three-year-old-mode, where he is a complete and utter shit to work with. But I guess that's why I love him... I mean we love him... That's why me and The SIDEMEN love Josh. Not just me...

I walked over to where Josh was breaking eggs and whisking them into a glass bowl, I grabbed the milk and flour from the cupboards along with a little sugar and lemon juice, laying all the ingredients he asked for in front of him. "Thanks child" giggling, I left him to it, to be honest I had no fucking clue how to make pancakes, frozen meals and boiling stuff is around about my limit.  Pouring two glasses of orange juice, I began to set the table, so we could eat properly instead off both taking out plates and disappearing to our own bedrooms for the next twelve hours.
Josh finished making the pancakes and placed the plate full on the placemat before me, "these look delicious Josh, thanks bro" he smiled half heartedly and sat opposite me in silence. I waited but he said nothing and then out of no where, "so the weather looks good today" confused and slightly worried, I looked over to Josh who was looking elsewhere. "Look at me" he hummed slowly bringing his forest green orbs to meet my ocean blue ones, "what's wrong with you man? You're not you, you're not Josh, you're not daddy!?" He laughed, a short and fake laugh. "Nothing, I'm just tired" I rolled my eyes and sighed whispering "liar" under my breath. When his eyes met mine for the seven-hundredth time this morning, I saw them glaze over. "You wanna know what's wrong Simōn" his voice was higher than normal, a metaphorical lump evident in his throat, "I was going to be engaged by the end of this week, I was going to all-of-a-sudden grow up, be mature and be the man I've always wanted to be, be the son my parents have longed for, but instead I ruined it all, threw that all in the fucking trash for someone who doesn't even know I'm madly in love with them" the tears streamed down his face, I'd never seen him look so innocent and so broken. Josh wiped his eyes heaving a small "sorry" before trying to push past my shoulder. I kept firm, catching him into my arms before he had the chance to run away. I held him like he was a child, stroking his soft black hair, caressing the back of his neck as he stained my t-shirt with his emotions... Years of emotions, everything he had bottled up came out at once. He was only human, he can only hold so much but, unlike the rest of us he hid it so well, under a façade of happiness and cheer. How I idolised this crying, breaking man for is strength.

After I had calmed Josh, we was lifeless and tired, all of his energy taken away by his depression. I lay him on the sofa with a thick, lush blanket and left him, finishing off his earlier job of cleaning up from breakfast. I wish he knew how much I loved him... But he loves someone else, someone better than some idiotic lanky blonde.

WC: 1000
ED: 2nd October