Living on the Outside

Chapter 5

It had been a few days since Emily came. I continued as normal. Trying to ignore her existence. Trying to ignore the thought of her. 13 years. 13 years and I never had a friend. At prison, everybody avoided me. Some even gossiped about how ruthless I was. 13 years and nobody was on my side. Now there is. How am I supposed to react to this?

Luckily Emily stayed away from me. She must have been trying to find more information about me or found out the truth.

When I went to feed the pigeons, Josh the pigeon had returned after being absent for a few days. He didn't come alone. He brought a pigeon that I assumed was female. He found a lady friend like I had told him to. What a coincidence. I named her Laura. The girl that the real Josh used to crush over.

I fed Josh and Laura. As well as all the other pigeons. I noticed some people watching me today. I guess people always watch me when I feed the pigeons and I'm just too busy to noticed.

Once all the pigeons were gone, I leaned back on the bench I was sitting in and looked up at the sky. There were a few clouds here and there. They were all scattered around. Forming shapes such as an octopus, a rabbit, and a decapitated Kermit the frog. I tried to imagine the Kermit put together again so he could be complete.

Somehow I dosed off looking at the clouds. I don't know how long I was asleep either. I just know I awoke when somebody sat on the bench.

"Hey," I heard Emily say. I sat up straight on the bench and turned to face her.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I want to talk to you."

"Maybe I don't."

"I've seen you feeding the pigeons on my way to work every day. I didn't thing you would still be here on my way home."

"Okay."

"Why do you feed the pigeons every day?"

"They're my only friends. Nobody talks to me or sees importance in me. The pigeons come every day because they want my bread. They need me."

"Okay. That's sad."

"You get used to it."

"Anyways, I'm going to respect your decision and wait for you to tell me about your past. I'm not going to force it and I'm not going to investigate it."

"You think I'm ever going to tell you?"

"I hope you do. It's okay. I would be your friend no matter what you did."

"You think you're my friend?"

"Yeah. You said you don't have friends. So I'll be your friend."

"Maybe I don't want to have any friends."

"You'll come around."

I stared at her. "13 years." I stated.

"What?"

"13 years."

"What about 13 years?"

"The last time I had a friend and had a decent conversation was 13 years ago."

"That long?"

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry. What did you do?"

"I did nothing. Nobody believed me."

"Did you get blamed for something?"

"You could say that."

"I'm so sorry."

"So," I said, thinking of how to change the subject. "You are from England?"

"Yes."

"What's it like in a different country?"

"It's fun. You see new things. Learn new things."

"I've always wanted to go to England."

"Maybe I can take you when I go visit my family."

"No. If I went I would go alone."

"Okay. But maybe you should go to England. Get a break from America."

"I'll consider it."

I began getting up from the bench. I was ready to go home.

"Where are you going?" Emily yelled as she grabbed my arm.

"Home," I replied.

"Okay then," she said as she released me. "Have a good day."

I rushed home. I was done with social interaction. I didn't want to talk to anybody unless it was Josh. I wanted to apologize to him. I wanted to undo that day. If I could travel back in time and tell myself not to agree with dissecting the frogs, we wouldn't have done it. None of these 13 years would have happened.