Repeat (A Once Upon A Time Fanfiction / Captain Swan's Daughter)

50

- Emma's point of view -

"We know who enacted the curse." I announced, dryly. "It was Mary Margaret."

My head had been resting in my hands and I felt my fingers smudging my makeup. My eyes had started to water, so my eye makeup would inevitably end up looking like Killian's guyliner back when I met him in the enchanted forest, only my version would probably be more spread out underneath my eyes.

Wanting to see how everyone has answered to my blunt announcement, I lifted my heavy head from my hands. It felt like I was lifting a boulder, not a part of my body that I carried around 24 hours a day without thinking twice.

Firstly, I looked across the room at Regina and my mother. Mary Margaret looked like one of her own sharp arrows had been shot into her heart. Her face was an accurate representation of how betrayal felt, so my current emotion. Regina looked disappointed. Equally disappointed at both Mary Margaret and me.

I then spun my chair to the left to see Zelena, Killian, and David's expressions. Zelena looked hurt. I feared the hurt would turn to anger, but I doubted she would act on any anger after coming so far as a person. We exchanged looks, both being the mothers affected most by the curse.

Part of me had forgotten that this was just as hard on Killian, if not worse, than it was on me. I'd given up a child for adoption and I knew what it was like to meet my son long past the midnight feeds and potty training, but it was all new territory for Killian. After believing he would never find love again, he eventually found himself with a with a wife; his true love, an accepting step-son, and a beautiful baby daughter. Killian slotted himself into the charming family easily, but Phoebe was the only person who shared his blood. Killian would always offer to go to Phoebe if she cried in the night, and it wasn't rare for me to find Killian asleep in a rocking chair with Phoebe cuddling into his chest the next morning. He had come so far that he was now more understanding, optimistic, and forgiving than I was, so he looked at Mary Margaret with less disappointment in his eyes than I had in mine.

David's was the look that brought a tear to my eye. He has obviously been oblivious to his wife's dark secret. My parents' relationship was unbelievably happy and the two were constantly gazing at each other like newlyweds. Now, the look my father was looking at my mother with was deep disappointment. She knew how important it was for David to find out who activated the curse, but she still kept her mouth shut. Although I was a fully grown adult with a husband, a mortgage, and two children of my own, David still saw it as his duty to protect us. Obviously, a one handed pirate with a weakness for rum wasn't going to be enough.

The room was quiet, waiting for somebody, anybody to say something. Part of me regretted being so blunt, but only because I had to watch Killian, Zelena, and David go through what I went through. I loved my mother with all of my heart, but right now she was the last person I wanted to see.

"I'm going to go." I said, breaking the silence as I stood up from my chair. I picked up my leather jacket that was hanging around the back of the seat and put it in, covering my arms that were now covered in goosebumps.

"Are you still okay with Henry and Robin coming over tonight?" Regina checked before I left. I wasn't pointing the blame towards Regina, and I definetly didn't want to punish my best friend for being the one Mary Margaret turned to for help.

"Yeah, of course." I answered with s small smile. We all knew it was by no means a genuine smile, but it for my message across.

"Do you want me to bring Phoebe over, too?" Regina asked. She knew me so well. Phoebe, Killian, and I were going to have a mini movie night tonight while Robin and Henry were out of the house, but I wasn't in the mood for putting on a happy face and watching cheesy rom-coms.

"That would be great." I carried on nodding, but avoided looking over in their direction. As I walked towards the exit, I felt Killian's hand on my shoulder. He followed me out into my little yellow car, where we both sat in silence for a few minutes. Once I was ready to set off, I attempted to rub the mascara from my bottom eyelid before turning on the engine.

When we were finally home, the two of us ended up sat at the bottom of the stairs. I think the aim had been to make it up the stairs, but we ended up slouched on the third step.

"Emma." Killian simply said my name as I rested my head on my shoulder.

"I just-" I started to say.

"I know." Killian agreed, knowing exactly what I was going to say. We were both shocked and confused by Mary Margaret's confession. I hadn't stayed for an explaination, so I was clueless. There was no doubt that I would be told every little detail in the near future, but for now I wanted to channel all my anger towards my mother.

Killian and I managed to pull ourselves together. Only slightly, but enough to get us to the top of the stairs. Although it was mid-afternoon, I found myself asleep within minutes of laying on my pillow. I woke up again just after 10pm. I hadn't eaten since before midday, so I dragged myself into the kitchen and picked at some cold pasta that had been sitting in the fridge since the night before. I decided to change into sole pyjamas before getting back into bed. Somehow; I managed to sleep until 7am the next morning.

• • •

"Please, stop calling me. You've called me at least 10 times in the past hour and I haven't picked up. Don't you think that means anything, Mary Margaret?" I said before putting my phone on silent mode, placing it on the bedside table next to me, and returning to kiss my husband.

"I'm not complaining in any way, shape, or form, Emma," Killian said between kisses. "But I'm feeling like a distraction."

It was the next morning and I had a lot more energy than I had the day before. I still wasn't ready to discuss the curse business, but I wasn't going to dedicate my life to feeling sorry for myself. What's done is done.

"I thought I was the pretty blonde distraction." I reminded him of what he had said during his time as the dark one. We had both moved on from the dark times in our relationship and could bring them up without any hard feelings. I loved having someone I could talk about absolutely any topic with.

"Emma, can you just tell me what's going on?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Last night to hardly said a word, now you're acting like nothing has happened."

"I just want to be happy again," I admitted. "I want to feel like I did when we were newlyweds, or when I was pregnant with Phoebe, or when we had a beautiful baby girl who smiled all day long."

"Of course I miss that, but there's nothing we can do. If you put aside the negatives, you're left with our beautiful teenage daughter who's easily adjusted back into our family. That's only the tip of the iceberg. There are so many more people who love and care about us." Killian spoke. I couldn't help but smile at his words.

"The tip of the iceberg? Have you been watching titanic again?" I joked. Putting a sarcastic tone to everything made me feel more like myself, and the usual Emma Swan would end up missing her daily gossip sessions with her mother.

"What can I say? I like boats." Killian smiled, pushing a piece of hair out of my face and behind my ear. "But in all seriousness, we have to talk to your mother."

"I know, I know." I sighed "I'm just so angry and upset with her right now."

"As am I, Swan, but imagine if you were in her shoes and Phoebe was refusing to listen to you." Killian insisted, making my heard sink. Hypothetically bringing Phoebe into the equation made me feel differently.

"I'll call Regina first." I compromised. Killian smiled before reaching over me and grabbing my phone. The concept of Siri still excited, so he asked Siri to call Regina Mills, then passed the phone to me.