Let's Pretend

Losing It

        It's 3:30 in the morning, and Adam has yet to fall asleep. Instead, he lie awake beneath the cold sheets of his bed, his eyes tracing the every movement of the ceiling fan twirling above his head. His mind was high, his body drunk, and his emotions a wreck.
    He begins to hum under his breath, a slow, smooth tone in attempt to calm his thoughts. Once he realized his demons were taking over, his humming silenced. He sat straight up in bed and reached over toward his nightstand, his hand gripping tightly onto his cellphone. His eyes close.
    He opened his eyes slowly and dialed up Tommy's number, he was the only person he knew to go to, the only person he knew that would at least try to pretend they cared about how Adam felt emotionally as much as physically.
    "Adam? Are you alright?" Tommy answered immediately.
    The sound of Tommy's concerned voice sent Adam into a downward spiral of emotions, he began bawling into the phone. No proper words escaped his lips, only tears falling freely from his bloodshot green eyes.
    "Adam... Talk to me, what's wrong? You can tell me anything, talk to me," Tommy's voice laced more with concern now than before. As much as he never wanted to admit it when Adam had spells like these, he really did care. He cared a lot.
    "Tommy, I- I can't do this a-anymore," Adam managed to speak in between sobs, "I'm so sick, Tommy.. I'm so sick."
    "Sick? Can't do what? Adam, don't talk like that."
    Adam fell silent, the air in the room going cold, sending shivers down his spine. "I'm so alone, Tommy..." he whispered.
    "Shhh...Adam, close your eyes for me..."
    Adam's breathing slowed as he did so, taking a slow, deep inhale.
   "Let's pretend," Tommy starts, "that you're in a state of joy."
   Adam's eyes opened slowly, his voice remaining silenced as he listened to Tommy's words.
    "Let's pretend you've found your release, and let's pretend you're alright." Tommy says softly again, nibbling at his bottom lip.
    Release, Adam thought.
    "Adam?"
    "I'm here," Adam responded slowly, his eyes casting down toward a bottle of sleeping pills he'd kept on his nightstand for insomnia purposes, anxiously rocking his body back and forth with every deep breath he took.
    "Then talk to me... Keep with me..."
    Adam nodded, even though he knew Tommy couldn't see. "Let's pretend," Adam mocked softly, "that everything's going to be okay."
    "No need to pretend there, Addy... You know everything will be just fine given time to be."
    "Let's pretend," Adam continues, "I won't have to cry myself to sleep every night after this."
   "After... this phone call?" Tommy asked, nervousness shooting through his body. "
    Adam reached over for the bottle of pills, unscrewing the cap and pouring the remaining pills into his hands.
    Tommy heard the pills, and instantly went into panic mode. "Adam!"
    "I told you I wasn't strong enough," Adam said weakly, his eyes closing as he tilted his head back, his hand dropping the pills into his mouth.
    Tommy threw his phone onto the floor and sprung out of his bed. He tosses a torn up leather jacket over his bare skin and took off running, slamming the door of his apartment open and slamming it closed again, darting out to his car where he got in and rode the gas pedal, bee-lining it to Adam's house.