Past Due

This Is Halloween

I grew up expecting this day to come, knowing it would arrive sooner than I would have hoped. But now that I'm here, there's not much for me to say. Goodbye? As if that's the last words I'll ever speak. I knew that I would only live to be 16. When I was little I thought that was plenty of time. Now, I think differently.

My birth mark, which is located on my left forearm says November 1st 2016. The minute the clock hits 12, ill be dead. I understand I have better luck than some. Some only live until they are 3, or even younger. But I also have much worse luck than many, for instance my mom, who's birth mark says February 19th 2047.

We live in a world where hope to not face death is insane. You can't pray away the birth mark. It's uncontrollable. Your organs just shut down. Nobody knows if its painful, nobody knows what happens once you have died. Some like to believe in a heaven, with god and angels.  Some believe in a ghost world. Others believe its like going to sleep and never waking up, stuck in this darkness without thoughts. The only people who know, are the people who have died.

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I woke up, I know what day it is. It's October 31st 2016. No matter how badly I want to stay in bed, with my eyes closed imagining tomorrow will never come, I can't. Its Halloween, and I want to spend my last day with my friends celebrating. I got up. I've lived in this house for 7 years now, ever since dad left us. But still every morning my feet touch the cold ground and it sends shivers through my body. Today was different, no shivers. I looked down at my feet to see a furry rug at my bedside. What on earth?

I hear chatter coming from downstairs, I go down to the kitchen to see my mother cooking. She was never the best cook, but she always tried. I walked into the kitchen and the old flooring creaks a bit. She turns to face me.

"Good morning sweetie." she says with a smile. Why does she look so happy? Does she not recall what today is.

"Morning mom." I said.

"I made you a Nutella banana crepe, I know its your favourite. Also, did you see the rug I put in your room?" she said with another big smile.

"Thank you, and yes I did. But why?" I asked, I could see her smile turn to a frown.

"I just wanted you to enjoy all the little things today has to offer." She said, trying to turn her sorrowing frown into a smile. I could see her eyes start to fill up with water. She was upset, but who can blame her? Her only child is dying tonight. I walked to the table and took a seat. The crepe looked delicious. I picked up the fork and put a piece in my mouth. For once her food was actually amazing. I turned to face the sink where she was standing to tell her how great the food was when I saw her exit the kitchen wiping the tears away.

I finish my meal, slowly get up and put the plate and fork in the dishwasher. I exit the kitchen and enter the living room. I see my mom sitting there holding her locket necklace. Two pictures are on the inside. One of me, and one of my little brother Bryce.  Brother? You might be thinking, I never mentioned a brother. Well that's because Bryce was born on May 20th 2004. His due was on May 21st 2004. Bryce never even left the hospital. One of the nurses took a single picture of him while he was in my mothers arms. I never got to meet him, my parents didn't want me in the hospital so they left me with my grandmamma and grandpapa.

I see a tear slide down her cheek as she turns to face me.

"Go get ready for the Halloween party, don't worry I'm fine." she said to me pulling a fake smile. I nodded back and slowly made my way up the stairs. I opened my bedroom door, and found my costume in the closet. I decided to be a slutty pirate. No, I'm not the slutty type. But it being my last day to ever live, well... Yolo. I quickly got dressed, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. I straightened my hair like I do everyday, and put on my make up. I wore my dark red lip stain today, to go with the slutty pirate outfit.