The Girl

Built for Sin

We went out for dinner, celebratory, of course. Throughout dinner, I held Mark's hand, not particularly wanting to let him go. My mom was the one to pay for it, and it was the first time in like, forever, that I actually felt genuinely glad to be alive. Mark having the accident and slipping into the coma stressed me out so much, and my grades ended up slipping like, really bad. I managed to scrape by, but it was just barely, and having teachers that stress perfection didn't help. Mark squeezed my hand, and I was jolted out of my thoughts. You okay?  he mouthed to me from across the table. I nodded. It's nothing. He smiled at me, and that calmed the storm of thoughts that was inside of me up until that moment. As we ate, I told Mark about all of the stuff that happened while he was out, which was about three weeks. A lot had happened during the time, including me coming out, his mom finally breaking up with her abusive girlfriend, and me introducing him in his state to Scott and Ron.

"So that did actually happen," he mumbled into his soup. He looked at me, and gestured to his head with his spoon. "There was a dream world, and a lot of stuff happened in it, that matches up with what happened in real life. The main difference was that you were, well, gone, Ad-Carlos." He looked back down, and continued to eat. The rest of dinner was eaten in silence, because, I mean, who could just, respond to something like that? Especially when he just, said it, openly, to me, that I was dead in his world. I'm worried about him, like, really worried about him. 

After dinner, I went with my mom to grab clothes, then biked over to Mark's house. I knocked on the door and Mark answered. "Hey, I didn't expect to see you so soon."

I looked at my feet, and answered, "Well, I thought I might help out. I mean, your mom still has to work, and, with it being summer vacation and all, I thought you might appreciate some human company. " 

He leaned against the doorway, and looked at me. I looked down instinctively. "I know that you don't have any confidence, but could you at least pretend like you do."

If I had fur, it would've been bristling. I knew that he was just joking, but with everything that had been happening, I wasn't in the mood for jokes. After he had come back, he seemed different, but I couldn't place it. I'm not sure whether I like the new him or not. But that sounds selfish, I should just be happy he's back, right? Right?