What's the point, in the world, in us?
What's the point in trying, in feeling?
What's the point in talking, will people judge?
What's the point in crying, letting tears fall...
Why do we feel? I don't want to anymore.
Why do we cry? It releases everything inside.
Why do we love? It brings us together.
Why do cut? To feel ourselves again.
I'm trying to recover... I've started slowly.
I'm trying to recover... I haven't now in a while,
I'm trying to recover... People haven't seen in a while,
I'm trying to recover... But when will it come back?
I just need to remember this~
Stop right now. I know it's hard and I know sometimes it feels like it's not even worth trying to stop, but it is. I promise. I know that sometimes seeing your scars fade is hard, but bby you know you don't want them there forever. Once they're faded, think of how much easier it will be. No sleeves or bracelets or awkward positioning so they don't notice. Think of how much better it's going to get for you. All of your problems you have right now WILL get better. You haven't even lived a quarter of your life yet, there's so much room for things to look up. I promise. I've been where you are and sometimes I'm still there. Last night I relapsed, and of course I regretted it right after. I thought of all of you, I thought of the people that care about me. But relapse is part of recovery. It doesn't mean I'm not going to get better. It just means that I'm fighting. I promise you that you can get through this. I promise that one day you won't have to even fake a smile, because it'll come natural. I promise you that you'll have a night where you're not fighting the blade for sleep (or the lighter, etc.). There will be a day where you won't even remember how hard it is for you right now. And I can't wait for you to realize that.
So put that down baby, not tonight. Read this again tomorrow if you need to. I love you.
If I remember this I will get better...
If I remember this I can get through Christmas...
If I remember this I will live...
If I remember this I can survive....
