Regarding Love and Television

Episode 8

Both of us are quiet, maybe because we can't think of anything else to say and maybe because this episode demands attention. Either way, it's silent for a good, positive reason now, so I don't mind much.

Plus, at the rate we're going, we might actually be able to finish the whole show by tomorrow. It's becoming real.

After everything that happened, I almost didn't realize we were on one of the best seasons. in fact, now we're on the season four finale. It's one of my favorites for a lot of reasons, but mostly because things finally start to line up the way they should.

Noah and Lila are playing a weird one-on-one version of two-hand-touch football as part of a "friend date" they set up because they're both newly single and want some normalcy. Let's face it, when does that ever work out?

"You're going down, Hairball," Lila bellows in that classic fake smack talk voice everyone seems to be fluent in.

Noah can't decide how seriously to take her, so he gives a little frightened laugh. "Is— that an insult? I really- I don't think that counts. . ."

"I'll show you what counts," she continues, showing no signs of irony, "Hike!"

Instead of shotgunning the ball like in a normal game, she throws it up in the air and the play officially begins when she catches it again. She takes off to the right, cuts a veering course through the small park they're occupying and gets ready to dive for a touchdown under a swing-set.

Then things go wrong. Noah's been running so fast to keep up with her that he can't stop. The momentum carries him into a head-on tackle that takes Lila down. Hard.

She lets out a squeal, "Hey- ow, ow, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder! "

"Lila! Shoot, what did I do?"

"You tackled me to the ground you Hairball!" she practically screams, but it quickly melts into another chorus of "ow" and "shoulder".

"Do we need to get you to the emergency room? Do you think you can stand up?"

She winces and tests pushing herself off the ground, but instead collapses with another squeak.

"Here, I'll help," Noah offers, pulling her up by the uninjured arm. She manages to get to her feet.

"Anything else seem hurt?" he asks.

"I don't think so. I can walk on my own," she decides.

"Heh, you know what that reminds me of?" He nudges me lightly in the ribs. When I turn to answer, I get caught up in his smile and the glint in his eyes that's exactly like a middle schooler about to play a prank. I'm glad he's back.

"Uh, nope, what is it?" I reply, realizing that I probably looked certifiable, staring at his face like that for so long.

"This is a lot like when we were playing basketball at your house and you hurt yourself on-"

"Wait, wait, wait. I hurt myself?"

"Well, yeah, you had a twisted ankle or something."

I let out a snort without even meaning to. "Sorry, but you seem to have forgotten some of the details," I retort, "First of all I did not hurt myself, you practically kicked my ankle out from under me. But that was on your way down from a fall that would go on to break your arm on the pavement."

He looks intently at the ceiling like maybe it will help him picture it. Realization dawns over his face, quickly changing into a pained grimace.

"Yeah," he finally says, cringing a bit, "Guess I blocked that one out."

"I would too. It's not every day you get both destroyed and sent to the emergency room by the worst basketball player in the eighth grade."

"That must have been fun for your mom to explain to the ER."

"Oh, I heard all about it. Please, lets not make this any worse and go back to the show."

"Good idea."

Lila and Noah have taken their own trip to the ER. She's still in the waiting room, sitting next to Noah in an uncomfortable looking plastic chair. He's gotten a soft drink from the vending machine and is attempting to ice her shoulder with it.

He starts to say, in his best soap opera imitation, "Lila, in case you die today-"

"I really don't think it's that bad."

"Or you, um, kill me. I just want you to know," he looks straight at her and her eyes are somewhere between amused, apprehensive, and hopeful, "I love you."

"Aw, Noah, you're my best friend, I love you too."

"No. I'm— I think I'm in love with you. Have been for a while. . . really."

I can't help but gasp a tiny bit. This part never gets old.

There's no kiss, no verbal response—not really a whole lot of acknowledgement—but it's out there now and of course that makes a difference. Lila has to figure out how to deal, but she can't do it right away. She buys time by pretending she didn't get it. . .or didn't hear correctly. . . or it went over her head.

But, for the first time, she understands perfectly.

Fade to black. When reality comes back into focus, I feel that my eyes are damp again, and before they even got the chance to fully recover too.

"That. Was. Beautiful," he remarks, but I'm not looking. I can't break away from the blank screen.

I'm already having withdrawals and the marathon isn't even over yet. We still have two more seasons to watch tomorrow.

"I can't even explain how much," I agree tardily, turning in his direction and raising my hand for a high five in the same sluggish movement.

He looks at my hand weirdly, like he doesn't know what to do with it.

"Ever heard of a high five?" I scoff, but can't stop myself from adding, "It's this way we say, 'hey good job' or 'that was totally awesome' or 'good to see ya br-'"

I can't finish my sentence. My lips are suddenly otherwise occupied with his.

It's not a long kiss, barely enough time for him to start it and me to finish it. I can't tell if there are any sparks, it's not that kind of kiss, but it's warm and full of something I had never felt there before. Familiar and exotic, a nap on a summer day and an exploration of uncharted territory.

Uncharted territory.

In that moment, my head can't seem to process anything. My heartbeat quickens against my will and echoes in my ears. I can't hear anything else, not even my thoughts.

Only one gets through. Don't ruin this. So I pull away.

His poster eyes are too close. I can see maps of mountains and forests and oceans in them.

Unchartered territory.

I can't help but think that those things aren't mine to explore. I've already seen a whole world of him that has always been mine to hold on to. No one else's. It can't be right for me to have that world and this new one too. It's too much knowledge of a person.

Or maybe it scares me that he might see both of my worlds too.

"I think I need to go," I mean to sound assured, confident, but it comes in a gulp and a whisper.

Before I can hear his protest I'm out the door. 

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

I'm baaack! Yay for finally updating! Hope you enjoyed this one! Vote for a quicker update (kidding...mostly)! Also tell me what you liked or any other comments you have :)