prisoned heart

CHAPTER 1

Today is Janice wedding.

At oo nandito ako, ito ang dahilan ng pag bisita nya sa akin noon sa opisina. Gusto nya akong maging bridesmaid dahil noong ikasal daw nila ni Jairus. Sabagay wala naming nakakaalam ng mga nagyari noon. Pero wala nga ba?

Ah tama, kung meron mang may alam ng kagagahan ko noon iisa lang yun. Jasper, my bestfriend and a brother. He is the only one who saw me in my vulnerable state, he saw me getting my life and keeping me alive. Without Jasper I don't know where I could be now.

The ceremony is about to begin when we asked to line up for the entourage.

"Pila na po tayo" sabi nung isa sa organizer I think.

As a maid of honor I have to enter before the bride kaya wala akong idea kung sino ang best man. I arrived late kaya pila na ang inabutan ko. I also didn't attend the rehearsals dahil busy din ako sa business na iiwan ko para maka attend ng kasal na ito I even have to watch some wedding videos from online for references at para di ako mag mukhang tanga sa kasal ng kapatid ko.

Nagsimula na ang paglalakad ng tumugtog ang orchestra.

"A wedding so grand," as what as Janice described it.

Well sa nabasa ko noon na engrande rin ang kasal nila ni Jairus pero mukhang mas engrande at mas pinag handaan ang kasal nya ngayon. Masaya ako kung saan masaya si Janice dahil kahit kalian ay hindi nya ko pinabayaan. I love Janice very much that I could sacrifice my happiness for her own.

When it's my turn to walk ay bigla akong kinabahan siguro'y dahil ngayon lang naman ako nag bridesmaid baguhan ako sa ganito at tulad nga ng nasabi ko wala naman ako nung huling na ikinasal sya. I smiled at the camera when they gesture me to pause and walk again. Malapit na ko sa pwesto na itinuro ng organizer ng napalingon ako sa gawi ng best man I wanted to stop when I realize that it was him.

Jairus.

I was not expecting to see him here, of all places of course.

He was the ex-husband of the bride of pity's sake. Oo at bestfriend sila ni kuya Albert pero that's not justifiable. Pero hindi naman ako ikinakasal kaya ano bang pakialam ko.

He was looking at me intently. I know that for sure kaya agad akong umiwas ng tingin I just focus on my sister who is walking elegantly at the aisle. I got teary eyed when I saw Mr. Madrigal giving Janice hands to Kuya Albert with tears on his eyes. I know how he loves her. I vowed my head when Mr. Madrigal looked my way. He smiled. I frightened.

The wedding ended smoothly. I cried when Janice delivers her wedding vows and I felt her sincerity and love for him and vice versa.

"Mga bridesmaid ditto nap o tayo para kasunod po kayo sa picture after ng family ng kinasal."The photographer as he asked us to line up for photo.

I got shivers when Janice called me and asked me to go next to her.

"Hoy LetLet ano? Tatayo ka nalang dyan? Hindi mo na ba ako pamilya ngayon?" sabi pa nya na parang nagtatampo kaya napatawa ang mga tao sa paligid. Natakot ako dahil gusto ni Janice na sumama ako sa family picture yeah we are family, I am a family for Janice, but only for Janice, Mr. Madrigal, our dad doesn't like to treat me one. Maybe because I did not accept his company para patakbuhin and instead put up my own and stand on my own. Pero sa ngayon ay palihim akong tumutulong sa hiling na rin ng Mommy ko. Ayoko syang biguin dahil hindi nya rin naman ako binigo noon. I was my Dad's princess pero nung lumayo ako ay lumayo din ang loob nya sa akin. I love my family but I had to protect myself.

"Ikaw gusto mo pa na pinapahiya kita ano?" she teased.

"sorry na po ate." I add sarcasm then laughed.

Nangingimi pa na lumapit ako sa kanila. Ayoko na sana sumama sa picture pero huli naman na ito kaya pagbibigyan ko na sila.

I was about to exit when I felt dad's hand on my shoulder kung kaya napalingon ako matapos ang picture nahihiyang ngumiti ako sa kanya, and he gestured a hug. I miss him. I miss my dad. I've been missing them since then. I hugged him tight as if there is no tomorrow I miss him so much that I'll cherished this hug with him.

"I miss you Daddy" I said with my broke voice coz I'm about to cry.

"I miss you too princess..." he cried. My dad cried.

"Hey you two, stop crying please I know that you have a lot to catch up but this but this is my daughter's wedding" Tita des says while smiling at me.

"Hi tita I'm sorry po." Nakangiting niyakap ko rin sya.

"Hoy ang daya nyo. Bakit hindi ako kasama sa group hug" Janice coming to us and join the hug.

I know that my mom's not here because she wanted to give Janice's mom a time with her though, Janice treats my mom as hers, minsan nagseselos lang din si Tita Des dahil mas close nga si Janice sa mom ko.

Yes, magkapatid kami ni Janice sa ama pero magkaiba ng ina, pero that doesn't matter dahil parehas naman kaming okay sa both parties though my mom wants to give Tita des her time with her daughter. Mukhang hindi din kame magkikita ni mommy sa reception dahil hanggat maari ay ayoko ng umiwas sa mga matang kanina pa nakasunod sa akin.

Him. Kanina pa nya ko tinitingnan at hindi mahirap na panay iwas.

I want to be out of here.

The pictorial was already done when someone approached the photographer.

"Excuse me, can you take us a picture."

I was about to go to Janice to bid my goodbye dahil may dadaanan pa ko bago ako pumunta sa reception or baka hindi na ko susunod pa roon.

"Sino po?" dinig kong tanong nung photographer.

"Me and the maid of honor."

Napalingon ako sa nagsalita dahil ako lang naman ang maid of honor sa kasalang ito.

"Can we have this photo Ms. Montero?"

Shit nang aasar ba sya? Bakit kailangan pa nyang umeksena.

Napatingin ako kay Janice na nakangiti na ngayon. Wait wag mong sabihin na pabor sya na mag picture kami ng ex nya. No fucking way. Oo at walang alam si Janice sa mga nangyari noon pero hindi nararapat yun. Pero sa huli wala din akong nagawa. Lumapit ako sa kanya para matapos na ito at makaalis na ako.

Pero dahil noon pa man likas na sa kanya ang pagiging demonyo ay hinapit nya pa ako upang mahawakan ang bewang ko saka bumulong.

"This time you cannot escape." Then he smiled on the camera.

I stunned. What does that mean?

Shit I'm doomed.