one

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march 1st, 2013

i'm trying this out, as a form of self therapy or something. maybe it will help. even though you're dead, and you've been dead for exactly three weeks, two days, eight hours, twelve minutes, and six, now seven seconds the prickliness hasn't gone away. i guess i've gained some OCD tendencies but that's okay. thirteen minutes and thirty-five seconds now. i feel like a crack addict, i really do, because you were my drug. i'm shaking and my hands are shaking and i can't see straight and i feel like i'm going to throw up and everything is wrong, so very wrong. i made a list of facts, because i don't really even know what's a fact and what isn't.

1. you are dead

2. you are not coming back

3. you killed yourself

4. there was no letter

5. you can't come back

6. there is no more JeromeASF

7. there is no more BajanCanadian

8. it hurts

9. i miss you

10. i miss you so fucking much

i miss you, i miss you, i miss you, i miss you, i miss you, i miss you, i miss us.

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