Random Thoughts Of A Real Life Fangirl

Tracob

Don't read if you hate talking about tracob. Just a warning.

I guess I haven't really talked about tracob ever. A few months back I skipped a week of posting because Tronnor was seeming pretty over. But I think at that time Jacob wasn't a huge topic.

I wish I had different thoughts on the matter, honestly I do. But I can't change what I feel. I should be supporting troye as long as he's happy. That's the right thing to do. But in the end, that's not what I feel at all.

And it's really stupid. If you look at it from a random person's perspective you see a girl getting upset because a couple she didn't know personally didn't work out. I think for many of us shippers, whoever you ship, can't really explain why we care about the couple so much. If you can put it into words please leave a comment. I can never find the right way to explain it.

Anyway, I've been upset that Tronnor's dead for a really long time now. It's getting to the point where I'm not necessarily sad about it but in denial of it. If you look at the full timeline, I spent very little actually being sad. I did have my moments but most of the time I pushed everything aside. I guess I was hoping for something to happen.

I keep trying to just except it. It's completely over. But I just can't. I'm still pushing it away. I'm still waiting. I've been waiting no matter what seems to come up. So when tracob was confirmed I had my answer. But it wasn't the one I was looking for. Sure, it was the one I was expecting but not the one I'd been hoping for.

I'm still waiting. I'm still hoping. I don't know why. I should just move on. He's happy. And it's selfish to want him to be with someone else when he's happy.

It's hard to explain. I just feel stuck. And really I apologize to all of the troyler fans out there. Not that you read my stories. But the whole time Tronnor was popular I was hoping troyler was dead. And now knowing what it feels like, that was completely wrong. But at least we both get each other now. Troye and Tyler aren't the same either. 

I still want to write my story. It's just another way to keep waiting. Which I guess isn't a good thing but I don't see it that way. My story is the one positive thing that I see in holding on. Sure, it makes me sad writing but in the end I'm proud of what I've done. I don't want to stop when I've just begun.

If anyone else wants to talk about what they feel please feel free to comment. And if you ship tracob that's okay too. I'm done hating other ships. So you can talk about that too.