Me, You And The Raccoon

CHAPTER IV

That morning, we decided to take inventory.

Jade had already made a list of our food. Now, we needed to find all the materials available to us, as well as all the jobs that needed doing. Jade assigned herself to materials, saying that I was much better suited to see what needed to be fixed.

I gave her a bashful shrug. "But I can't make a list," I mumbled.

"Why not?" Then she remembered, not everyone was royal and well educated. "Well, then. Just draw a picture, Dear. It's worth a thousand words, anyhow."

So I did. Well, the windows would need to be sealed -- all we had now were the bars, and these did nothing to protect us from the cold. On my clipboard, I penciled in a square, filled in with a grate of tooth-pick lines. There. A window.

What else was there in the main room? The size of it certainly posed an issue. In the depths of December when we relied on the heat of the fire to keep us warm, how would we survive with such a large space to heat? But how to solve this problem?

I told myself I'd think about it. On the paper, I drew a large circle with a plethora of little rectangles inside to symbolize the couch and chairs. Maybe Jade wouldn't be able to understand my drawings, but I could.

As I moved through the rooms of our new home, I found a slew of other problems to be solved. I also came upon a plethora of items to be built. Beds, the kitchen counter and chairs, storage space. Maybe a closet or some drawers.

I finished before Jade did. Below, I could hear her clanging around in the crawlspace, taking stock. I sat down on the couch, sighing. My feet and face felt numb with cold.

Jade emerged from the crawlspace wearing a frown and a woolen shawl I'd never seen before. She moved to return to the kitchen, but I motioned for her to sit down.

"Are you finished, Dear?" Jade asked, taking a seat beside me. I sidled closer, wrapping my arms around her. She felt wonderfully warm. This would take some getting used to -- being able to touch her whenever I wanted to.

"Yes. We have a lot to do."

Jade nodded. "At least it will keep us busy," she reasoned.

I leaned my head against Jade's shoulder, feeling her body stiffen as I did. We weren't usually this affectionate with each other. I whispered, "Relax." She exhaled, leaned her lead against mine. We sat like this for a few minutes, listening to each other breathe.

"Well." Jade said this decisively, pulling away. "I'm going to start lunch. A salad, perhaps. Does that sound good to you?"

I frown at her. "We have salad?"

Jade returned my frown. "Forgive me. Sandwiches, then."

While Jade busied herself in the kitchen, I chose not to start on my extensive list of projects. Instead, I stayed seated to think for a moment.

In nine months, where would we be? We would have a kitchen table and kitchen chairs, very little food, an approaching summer, bad memories, good memories, a new relationship and two big, round bellies about to burst open.

Or perhaps one will pop prematurely, or not at all. I couldn't let myself think of all the ways we might end up dead in this tiny tower prison of ours.

I got to wondering about my parents. I hadn't even gotten a chance to say goodbye. They had to know what had happened to me, right? They didn't think I'd just left them, did they?

I felt a little sick, thinking of home. Heaving myself over to the bathroom, I pictured it in my head: plains of golden wheat, stretching out into infinity. The sun setting over a glinting horizon of grain, colors of the sky matching the hues of the wash, fluttering in the evening wind. My mother serving up dinner inside, my sister and I waiting eagerly at the table, she exhausted from a day of playing, I from a day of work. Ringing the bell to alert my father that supper is ready.

But even in this scene, there is pain. The pain of knowing that I'm someone I'm not supposed to be, someone they're not supposed to love. Knowing that I'm in love with someone I can never be with, that I want things I can never have.

I remember the day Jade and I decided we would run away.

We had a weak plan, filled with holes as the tattered rag I used to clean the windows. She would sneak out of the castle at night (How would she get past the guards? They were always on close watch for anyone getting in or getting out) and I would be waiting by the outhouse, about a quarter of a mile away from my house (What if someone else needed to use the bathroom? Would I pretend to be defecating, or step aside and say, "Go ahead"? And if they saw Jade, would she hide? Or would she tell who she was and demand that they ask no questions?). We would each pack our own knapsacks full of food (what would we do when the food ran out?), toiletries (these, too, would need to be replenished), and anything else we wished to bring. She would arrive (although Jade didn't actually know exactly where my house was) and take me away to a new life.

I was waiting at the outhouse for hours. She thought better of it and stayed inside.

XXX

Dedicated to the lovely mythicdreams for the new cover!