Fix Me

6: Oliver

Jax snuggles against me, gripping my shirt in his hands. Then, after a moment of silence, he says, "I suppose I owe you a story, too."

I look down at the top of his head, squeezing his bony form against my chest. "Are you sure?"

Jax sighs, then nods his head yes. "Just... Be patient with me, okay? Haven't talked in a while, really."

He clears his throat, squeezing some little medallion that I'd given him in his fist, setting his face with a brave look. "I was thirteen, the first time. We'd just moved somewhere new, and my... My dad, he'd just got a new promotion, and everyone was so excited. Things were great, for a while, and then..." His voice trembles like a leaf in the wind, and he takes a moment to grab onto it. "He got... Stressed. Real stressed." His eyes get that creepy, glazed over look again, and he's quiet for a while. I stroke his spine, trying to coax him into continuing.

"He hit me," Jax blurts suddenly, eyes widening as though he's surprised himself. "He hit me every night, for a long time. My mom knew, I know she did, because I told her. And she just looked at me, and never said a word..." He flips his forearms over to show them to me, revealing long white scars. "I locked myself in the bathroom, sliced my wrists. It was November 11th. He broke the door down before I was all the way gone. There are still blood stains by the toilet, even though the bathroom got refurbished."

I gulp, running my fingers tentatively along his arms, hiding my mouth with one hand. "O-oh."

Jax pulls his arms away, hiding his face in my shirt. It muffles his voice. "The second time, I was fifteen, almost sixteen. We'd just moved somewhere new, and I was just... Too different, I guess. I didn't have many friends. But, there was this one guy. He was so smart, so talented. He was my little ray of sunshine; you remind me of him, when you sing. He made me want to live."

I blink, fists tightening on his shirt, suppressing a small grin. I make him want to live. He must feel my mood change, because he adjusts his position so that he can see my face, grey eyes twinkling a bit. I see the corner of his chapped pink lips twitch, then he looks away again. "He was a little like you because he made me feel safe, too. His name was... Adam." Jax sighs, and I get the impression that he hasn't said Adam's name in a long time. "We were close, closer than I've ever been to anyone, except, maybe, for you. I was over his house so often that I couldn't really sleep in my own anymore... But I wasn't around for my dad to hit, so that was nice. And, I told Adam everything that I knew about anything. I thought he did the same for me...

"But, then his dad saw us in his room holding hands one day after school, and... Something changed. He wasn't the same Adam. He was a colder, harder, less forgiving Adam who didn't smile as much anymore. He didn't pass me little notes between classes or send me secret winks in science class... He just..." Jax sighs again, pressing himself closer to me. "Whenever we were alone, all he wanted was sex. If I didn't give it to him, he would slap me around until I did. And, I hated myself." His throat gives out, and he coughs, clearing his throat.

"I tried to leave him, and he wouldn't let me. He would hold me down, and he broke my arm once... My parents didn't care; it didn't heal back quite right because I didn't know how to use the medical insurance to get a doctor's appointment. I just... I was overwhelmed. I took a bunch of my mom's antidepressants, sat on my bedroom floor, and waited to die. I'd written a note and everything... It was the same day as before, too. And I woke up in the hospital. Again. Same one as last time.

"And then there's this time... I was just so tired of failing. I wanted everything to be over with, no more sequels. My parents were still assholes, the Adam that I used to know was nowhere to be found, and nothing was getting any better. I had decided that this would be the final time, made the timing all poetic and everything... Stepped into traffic on November 11th at 11:11 pm. It was kinda pretty for the first couple of seconds, like the lights and everything whizzing around in slow motion, and the engines rumbling and vibrating the street. And then it was really bad for the next few seconds. I was sure that I was gone, but now I'm... Here. You probably think I'm crazy," Jax let out a bitter chuckle.

"I don't," I say, rubbing his back reassuringly. "I think you're an angel. But, you're a fallen one. You've been dealt a bad hand, and now your wings are broken."

Jax gives me a sad look, an almost smile. "Do you think you can fix me?"

I pull his body closer to mine. "I don't know, Jax. But I'll damn sure try."

A/N: Woohoo! Double update!

Oliver is the best, isn't he? Ahh... And Jax talked! I need to develop his voice a little more...

But, vote and comment if you enjoyed! See you next chapter!
Love, AJ