The Sweetest Thing

chapter 9

Harry POV

As I left Hermione's flat, I was certain of two things. One, I don't ever wanne lose her, and two, this crazy thoughts I've been having has got to stop or else I will lose her.

I organise the notes and information we've gathered, put my work stuff on the kitchen counter in the small flat I share with Ginny when she is here, and then poured myself another drink. "This is getting out of hand, Potter" I say out loud after I take a deep gulp from my glass and place it on the coffee table. I remove my stuffy tie and work shirt, kick off my shoes and went to lay down on the couch. I close my eyes and sighed as I think about this new realisation that came to me tonight.

The friendship I have with Hermione is not like the one I have with Ron, I can't share my fears or concerns regarding my life with Ron, I mean we talk sometimes but he just has a way of either making too light of a situation or completely overreacting.

I run my fingers through my hair in frustration before reaching for my glass and taking another sip, reviling in the burning sensation, the rich liquor causes in my troat. 'This would be what Ron would suggest instead of talking about feelings.'  I think, taking another swing from my glass, emptying it in the process.

Hermione is not like that, she keeps me calm, she listens, and I can't believe I didn't see this before but not in all the years of mine and Ginny's relationship, have I even been able to say that about her.

I check the time on the wall cloak and decide to go get ready for bed, since I still have work tomorrow. I pick up my shirt and tie from the floor and head to our bedroom, unlike at Grimmauld place, Kreature won't be picking up after me.

I take out some fresh boxers from my dresser and head to the bathroom. I remove the rest of my clothing and get into the shower, as the water start flowing over my tired body I resume my troubled thoughts about Ginny.

She's always, blowing up and I'm the one that has to calm her down, having to listen to her go on about what is wrong with the world, or having to be her saviour. Its not that I don't like that I'm able to be there for her like that, she's my girlfriend, but is it selfish to want to have her be there for me like that too. Be there in the way Hermione always is.

That statement would probably get me into a lot of shit, with not just Ginny, but Ron and Mrs Weasley, even Malfoy, as he always says I use my best friend to my benefit when it suites me.

I don't know how much truth there is to that accusation, I think, turning off the water in the shower, grabbing a towel off the hook and finishing up in the bathroom. 'I mean I don't do that intentionally' I think, but is that how people around us see our relationship. If that's true then I have to find a way to make it up to her, because I can't lose my best friend due to lack of appreciation.

On the other hand, I don't want my girlfriend to feel like she's not as important to me. I love Ginny, nobody is perfect, she's not always there for me but she does know how to make me happy when I'm down. She loves to spoil me with breakfast in bed when she's in town, always find fun activities for us to do, while she's here, like go hiking or that flavoured tea making class she had us attend last month. I get in bed n turn off the lights with my wand.

I lay back against the pillows. There has been a weird distance forming between us lately, like she's filling our days with stuff so we won't be home alone together, too much. Maybe its just my imagination, or maybe after 5years she's grown bored of being with me. And who can blame her, she's a famous Quidditch player and I'm just an Aurror.

We haven't even made love much on this last visit before the start of the new quidditch season. Am I not appealing to her anymore? I've tried to keep my body in good shape for her, but maybe its not good enough anymore.