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33

I deserved the horrid taste of black coffee in my mouth this morning.

After what I said the Killian last night, I wouldn't want to see me either. What had possessed me to even say that to him? Obviously I was mad at him and I was drunk, but I'd never gotten like that before when I drank a lot. I usually didn't have outburst like that when I was wasted. I guess everything had just built up in me and I needed to express it right then. That still didn't give me the right to take it out on Killian.

I groaned in frustration and rested my head in my hands. Not only was my brother mad, everyone else wasn't talking to me.

When I'd left the room earlier to go to breakfast I happened to run into everyone. Killian wouldn't even look up at me, and opted to leave as soon as I sat down. Jace didn't crack an wise remarks, signaling that he was upset. Alex made sure to let me know I was in the wrong. She told me straight to my face that I was a monster and that I deserved to die. While I did hate her, I did have to agree with her. After she expressed her hated, she stood and left. Aubrey sat in silence picking at his food. Last night he had been caring, but today he was different. It seemed like he was having an internal battle on what to do; help me through this or turn his back.

With Aubrey picking at his breakfast and Jace trying his hardest not to look at me, I decided to take my coffee and bring it up to my room alone.

"Ugh," I slammed my hands down on the table I was sitting at. "Why did I say it? I'm so fucking stupid." I mumbled. I took another swing of my coffee, instantly twisting my face up.

Before I could dive back into my thoughts, I heard the room door open and someone enter. I didn't turn to address them, instead I stared at the black drink in front of me. Whoever it was stayed silent after they shut the door.

"Whoever the fuck it is, if you came here to tell me I'm wrong: I fucking get it." I raised my voice. "You don't have to come to my room and tell me."

"I'm not here to tell you that, Emerson." Jace spoke up. I wasn't expecting him to be here, but I was somewhat relieved. With him here, even if it is for a few moments, I'm safe from my thoughts.

"What do you what then, Jace?" I sighed and turned towards him. He walked over and took a sat across from me.

"We're going home today." He looked up. "Drake wanted me to tell you."

"What time?"

"Around two." I glanced at the clock and noticed it was about eleven, so I had a little time.

"Okay." I muttered and turned my attention back to my coffee. I expected him to leave but instead he stayed seated. "That's all you wanted, right?" He let out a heavy sigh.

"I don't agree with what Alex said this morning," He started. "You don't deserve to die because you said that, we all fuck up. I agreed with everything you said last night, well up until the last part. Everyone wants to tell you what to do, and I get it. Killian is your brother and Aubrey is your... whatever you guys are, and they're both very controlling."

"I've seen them both put their two cents in on every decision you make and try to protect you, but I know you don't need them. Hell, out of all of us you're probably the strongest. I just what you to know I'm on your side, even if no one else is." He paused for a moment, contemplating if he should say the next part. "Drake is too, even if it seems like he's not. He just doesn't know how to help. He thinks you need space, but I've tried to tell him it's the opposite."

"What do I do about Killian?" I asked.

"Emerson, he's your brother. Just talk to him and it'll all blow over." He responded. "I know you didn't mean it and so does he. I think he realizes he's pushing you too far and that you've change. We all know you've change since he's been gone, we've been here to see it; he hasn't. Give him time to adapt."