her unknown path:life's roar

#2

While climbing up the stairs she asked me---"Where is your Babu?"
I answered---"He is in the drawing room watching TV and sipping tea."
There was a tone of anger in her voice ---"I asked him to goto market. There are no vegetables in the freeze; still he is sipping the tea. What has happened to this old man?"
I had nothing to answer, so I walked into my room silently. I lay on the bed and pulled a bedcover over me. My heart raced again to the thoughts of those beautiful past and my vision got dampened. I bit my right finger so as to suppress my spasms overflowing my heart.
ChotoMa came into my room---"Why are you lying on bed at this time? Don't lie down in the evening."
My chest cried out "Can't I have some time alone with myself, ChotoMa?" But I could not speak those words. Those words remained inside me forever, no one heard that.
I wiped my face and went into bathroom to wash my face.
During the dinner, ChotoMa said to me that she would take me for shopping the other day. I was not at all interested. Why should I buy new clothes? For whom should I wear new dresses? Who was there to praise me? There was no meaning left in my life for joy.
Babu asked---"Paree what happened? You are so quiet today?"
I shook my head to tell them that nothing had happened and I was ok. But was I really ok? Was I really fine, with what had happened. Who knew that the rupture in my heart will not heal and was broken into thousands of pieces?
I went into the bathroom to fresh up myself, applied the apricot face-wash on my cheeks. I looked at my cheeks, the rosy tint was gone. There was a pale look on my face. I brushed my teeth. I looked at my lips; it was rosy but was that really rosy? No it was pale yellow. Was I having jaundice? No it was not due to jaundice. All colours of my life were washed away. The rosy cheeks, red lips, big black eyes. Every colour was gone from my life.
Before retiring to my room, ChotoMa reminded me again---"Don't lock the door from inside."
I lay on the huge bed alone and closed my eyes. I could not sleep for a long time. Before he went away he ignited a fire inside my heart and that fire used to haunt me every night. I unhooked my inner wear from my bust and pressed the pillow hard on my chest. I bit the soft pillow between my teeth and cried and cried and cried. The dark night haunted me. The branches of the trees swayed near my windows. They used to beckon me as a pair of evil hands. Most of the nights his memoirs kept me writhe in pain and I spent numerous sleepless nights just by counting the stars in the sky.
Next day morning ChotoMa and I went for shopping at market. She asked me to buy whatever I liked. I had to put a veil on my heart and always kept a smile on my face.
She bought two very beautiful salwars for me, one was of yellow and red and the other was of turquoise blue. She bought a white and brown coloured Zamdani saree for herself. She asked me to buy some expensive saree. She asked the shopkeeper to show us lots of varieties and at last I choose a Kantha-Stich saree. A cream coloured china-silk with Kantha-Stich all over that saree. The thick border attracted me very much. It was decorated with lots of elephants and lotus all weaved in threads.
ChotoMa then took me to BowBazar for buying ornaments.
She nudged my chin with her fingers---"I had to prepare for my piya wedding from now on."
I smiled faintly at her.
On seeing my smile she patted softly on my cheeks---"My sweet daughter. Keep that smile on your face always. You have grown up now."
I said to her---"Can we go home today? I don't want to buy any gold ornaments now, please."
She nodded her head---"Hmmmm..... Ok but next time we had to buy something. This is the second time we came to buy something but returning empty handed."
Yes, it was the second time we were returning empty handed. First time he was with us and we came for shopping. That day he made me buy jeans and t-shirt. But that was a different situation.
One day I asked Babu for a cell-phone. He gave a queer look and asked "Why do you want that?"
I said---"All my friends have cell-phone, only I don't have."
He looked at me for sometime---"If I give you cell-phone then you will chat with your friends all the time."
I pleaded to him like a small child---"Please, please, please Babu. I promise you that I will not chat for long hours."
He smiled at me---"Ok. Let your ChotoMa come then I and you will goto shop and you can choose." He cautioned me "Only four hundred rupees recharge for a month, not more than that."
I threw my arms around Babu's neck---"My Sweet Babu. Do you want a cup of tea?"
He smiled at me affectionately---"So ShonaMa is bribing me, right? Sure, I would love to sip tea anytime if my ShonaMa gives."
In the evening, after ChotoMa arrived, Babu said her that I was asking for a cell-phone and he had promised me that he would buy me one.
ChotoMa asked me---"Why do you want a cell-phone?"
Babu answered on my behalf---"Oh! Come on. Piya is now going to college and doing M.Sc. She has grown up. She is twenty-six years old."
ChotoMa yelled at Babu---"That's the main problem. She is twenty-six years old. Only a mother understands what happens when her daughter is beautiful and young and unmarried."
She looked at me and said---"You have to show me the call logs every day."
I was furious on hearing that, I yelled at her---"Can't I have some liberty in my life?"
Babu looked at me. His gaze pierced deep in my soul.
Again I heard his stone cold voice---"There was enough liberty given to you, Piya. Think what you have done with all those liberty."
I screamed my lungs out and slammed the door of my room behind me---"I don't want a cell-phone."
Few days before Mahalaya, starting of Durga Puja, I was watching the TV in the drawing room.
Babu walked into the drawing room and asked me to sign a court paper. I asked him as what was that. He told me that that paper was a legal paper for legal guardianship.
He said---"You mother has given the consent and she has signed the papers."
I looked at him and then signed on the court paper. After that legally I became the princess of the emperor and the empress.
"My days were gloom and nights were painful.
I lived a life of a beautiful princess locked in a beautiful ivory cage of an emperor and empress. I got all the materialistic happiness whatever I wanted. Good clothes, beautiful ornaments. Every morning and evening they fed me with nuts and honey and several fine delicacies.
But I was still a pet scarlet princess imprisoned in a beautiful ivory cage."