Finally, Friday rolls around and I'm actually feeling better. Chrissy is trying to be a better mother but I don't know if Ronnie is going to let Willow go back with her just yet, I'm hopeful though. I think it's about time for me to tell him how I feel so once we bring Willow back and after we get drinks with Ronnie's dad then I will tell him. I'm all dolled up in a cute black dress and I'm sitting on our bed waiting for Ronnie to finish getting dressed. He's only wearing a black shirt and jeans but he still looks great, I fucking love him.
"Babe can we go out for a little while, just us? after drinks with your dad?" I ask really needing to get this off my chest. He smiles at me and nods.
"Are you okay? You seem off." He has sympathy in his eyes but I feel bad telling him that he's being a good father but ignoring me.
"Baby, I've just been feeling ignored lately, you've been dong great with Willow but not with me. When I was sick I started feeling like I was the last thing on your mind. I just wanted to go home, I still think I want to go home, having Willow for a week or two is fine but months is a lot. I have to play mama sky I don't get to curl up with you on the couch, we haven't had a date since she got here. If this is what things are going to turn into I can't I didn't sign up to be a mom just yet, yes soon I'll be a step mom but not a full time on the go care giver because when you have to do band things this all lands on me. I can't just leave and leave you stranded with no one to watch her but when you took her I really couldn't say no. I didn't have a choice, I love you Ronnie but even this dinner makes me eel like you're going to be talking to your dad and I have to play mommy. Chrissy has been trying, but you haven't been letting her. I don't know how much longer I can live like this. Ronnie this tour is almost over, if this is what it's going to be like when we get home, I don't th.... Fuck I can't give you a fucking ultimatum either." I stand up and kick a hole through the night stand. "I'm so selfish, this is your fucking id and I'm asking you to choose. I'm sorry this is just how I feel, I feel alone and abandon. I just want to go back to normal. I want to know I'm going to sleep next to you all night." I sigh, "We're almost home I think after dinner I'm going to hop on a flight and head home. I need to be alone and clear my head." I look at his face and I can tell he's realizing what I'm saying, he starts crying and hugs me. We stand there holding each other for about .5 seconds until Willow barges in. He goes off and finishes getting her ready as I pack a small bag.
He feels bad all throughout dinner and you can tell, we bring Willow back to the bus and put her to bed as I grab the bag. We walk outside and I look at him and start crying.
"Baby it kills me to go and miss the last few shows, but I need to think and I can't watch Willow all the time. You need to realize how taken advantage I feel." I look at him honestly waiting for him to just let me go.
"Please don't go, I need you I thought you liked it. I thought you liked playing family and I realize now how I've-," he gets cut off by Jacky running out to us.
"Guys she's not breathing." He is carrying Willow in his arms.
