Remember Me

Remember Me: 1

REMEMBER ME

"Do you know why you are here?" the woman sitting across me says, while adjusting the thick frames of her glasses. I don't look her in the eyes, instead I stare at the seemingly infinite amount of degrees on her walls.They distract me. Usually, I would have searched for a word to describe what I was doing, but "avoiding" will work. Now that I think about it, I never should have told mom about the letters.

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Six months earlier

Dear Cara,

I don't know if you remember me, it's been a week since I moved away, but I think you do since you found this in our spot. Don't tell anyone that I wrote you this, they might get jealous. Ha! Did you get the joke? It's funny because no one would have cared even if you did tell them. I'm sorry, that was mean. Do you remember the way we used to lay down and watch the stars at this spot? Do you remember the way we used to bring our favorite words and speak them here? I remember. So here's to the moments we had.

Supine

adjective

lying face upwards

Remember me,

Avril

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The first letter I found from her was on the top of the hill we used to lie down on and talk. Too many times we found ourselves struggling to describe what had happened, and soon enough we would bring words along with us so we wouldn't have to search to say what we meant. It's funny, because I never did use the words, but the comfort lied in hearing them, and knowing them.

The moment I had read the letter, I ran home as fast as I could to write a letter back to her. I didn't know if she left it as a goodbye or if she meant for me to answer, but I couldn't just leave it there. Soon enough I had my own letter encased in a small envelope, and I left it at the same spot I found her letter, the base of a tree close to the spot we used to lie.

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Dear Avril,

Please tell me where you live now. You never said goodbye, and you never mentioned moving. I forgive you, but only if you keep leaving letters. And of course I remember you; the question always was if you remembered me. Senior year began yesterday, and everyone was exactly the same. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't your "normal high school day". So many times I wanted to scream how you left; I wanted to yell at the people that acted as if everything was okay, but I couldn't. I'm sorry. I wish we could go back to lying on this hill. I wish you were here. I wish we never got into that car.

Hiraeth

noun

a deep longing for a home that you can never go back to, or never was.

Love,

Cara

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The second letter arrived sooner than I had expected, it appeared the day after I had left mine.

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Dear Cara,

I can't tell you where I live, where's the fun in that? It's more interesting this way, more thrilling. You can't believe how excited I was that you found the first letter, I almost thought you had forgotten me and moved on the moment you saw the moving van outside my house. It's funny how my family moved without saying goodbye to yours, but I think it had something to do with how we wrecked my mom's car. I don't really know what happened, I just know that we were packing and out the door right after I got out of the hospital.

Cromulent

noun

appearing legitimate but actually being spurious

Remember Me,

Avril

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The thing about Avril was that there was no other way to contact her besides by actually meeting her. Since she was homeschooled, she never really bothered to make any social media accounts, and her mom never let her get a phone, saying "you don't need a phone when you barely ever leave the house". I wanted to know where she lived, but I knew she might get mad if I pushed, so I let it go. As long as she kept leaving letters, I could live with the world.

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Dear Avril,

Today I met someone I think you would have liked. She was sitting at the front of the school, photographing the sidewalk. I had never seen someone stare so intently at a sidewalk crack, so of course I walked up to her and asked her what she was doing. Turns out she was taking pictures of an ant teetering on the sidewalk. When I asked her about the ant, she said she liked how it was so small and wasn't intimidated by the huge crack. Her name was Jie Li, and she took pictures for the school newspaper, but actually thought it was stupid and didn't talk about issues that actually needed talking about. She told me how there was a kid in her physics class that had committed suicide recently but they wouldn't publish anything about it because it was "too depressing and preachy" and they would lose readers. I hate how insensitive people are to loss, but I like Jie Li.

Serendipity

noun

the chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way

Love,

Cara

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When I wrote the letter I hoped that Avril wouldn't think I was betraying our friendship. I know that it had only been a few months since she left, but being alone all the time was starting to be a little depressing.

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Dear Cara,

I'm glad you're finally making friends who aren't weird homeschooled girls like me, but I hope you'll still think of me when you walk on this hill. I think life when we're apart is going in opposite ways; while you have your Jie Li, I have no one but my parents. Yesterday I was walking outside after it had just rained, and saw a flower that had bloomed in the night, still shining from the dew that sat on it, but I couldn't help but feeling sad that it had bloomed the way it had, away from the rest of the flowers, never to show its beauty to anyone. I guess you could say it reminded me of you and I, two flowers isolated from the rest. But now that you've learned to talk to someone other than me, I think you're making progress. Maybe I will too.

Petrichor

noun

the pleasant, earthy smell after rain

Remember Me,

Avril

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With each passing day, I could feel memories of Avril and I fading away, as Jie Li and I grew closer, and I met Matt, another senior who laughed at my puns, and serenaded me with songs from the 80's. I wanted to hold on, but I felt her slipping from my mind. I kept forgetting her when I talked to others, and when I drove by her old house. I couldn't help but feel guilty, but I couldn't stop.