Life

The Special One

Don’t you ever just feel alone? Like no one can help you. You’re the only one who truly understands you. Well I thought that. Until I met him. I know every love story starts with I was so lonely until I met him. With him it wasn’t just some love story it was actually something that I couldn’t have. I only admired him from afar. I couldn’t bare to think that he would even feel the same way about me. Then that one day I felt brave. I walked up slowly and told him my feelings. His reaction scared me so I quickly told him I was just joking. Only to think that I actually wasn’t. You may call it rejection in secret. I call it letting something that you will never have go. I felt that he would never want me the way I wanted him. Everyone always said fight for something you want. Yeah that works when you’re talking about a friendship. Not for a relationship. Rejection is one of the hardest things we have to deal with in life. No matter what sometime in our life we will have to face it. No one can hide from it. It’s like running away from the most hideous monster, you can’t hide but you can try your hardest to run from it but eventually it will catch you. I don’t want to lose him as a friend. I figured that if I tell him and he don’t feel the same way that we could never be friends again. Or if we broke up I just can’t think about losing something that I care so much about. He is like the one thing that I can’t get out of my mind. I want to get him out of my head but I can’t. Like that one in the back of your brain always nagging you. He makes me smile. He makes me feel like I’m actually somebody. Sometime I just want to say forget him. Forget feelings move on to someone else. You can’t actually do that when that person is everywhere you go. Everywhere you turn you think you see him or you’re looking for someone who isn’t looking for you. The hardest part is when the person ignores you. You feel like am I not good enough for him? It gets harder when you see him with other girls. He isn’t taken but acts like it. Or when your friends come up to you saying that this other girl likes him. You instantly say I’m giving up he probably likes her more than he would ever like me. I feel like you shouldn’t just give up on something that you feel is good for you. Trying harder to get something you want is amazing. Amazing is a big word for some people to accept. When you get in front of him and being in conservation with him just make you feel that you guys are the only people in the world. You get so caught up in that moment until he leaves. When you’re apart for hours it feels like years. You feel like you can’t live without him but then your realize. Its only a crush.