Adopted by Dan and Phil

17.

Sean kept me on a tight schedule. Everyday 1 minute before the doors opened, he would find me and give me a "little" beating. Little my ass.

My body was bruised all over. Well everywhere that wasn't visable. My body is a rainbow of red, yellow, black, blue and purple. Black, blue and purple are the variety of bruises littering my body. Yellow is the healing bruises. And red are all the bumps and scrapes left in my skin

The darkness isn't gone. Oh, no, never gone. It's always going to be there whether you like it or not. But I can't seem to get used to it. The world wasn't like how it was before.

The sky is a dark swirling blue. The plants are shriveled up and turned black. Gray clouds always seem to hover above my heads. All beauty was taken from my world. Beautiful things were plucked from the ground, evaporated into thin air.

Dan and Phil can no longer supply me enough happiness to make me smile. Although, on acation Jack and Mark stop by to see us. They indeed supply me with happiness as well, but the same goes for them. They cannot make me completely happy. I want Ava. I also want relief.

The walk home from school was a painful one. My body was sore from my meet up with Sean today. Also, my brain needed a distraction, a relief.

Once I had made it to the apartment, there was a note on the door that said:

Hey Liz, me and Dan decided to go out today. I know suprise right?! And we are going out because our friends are having a get together sort of thing. We won't be back for awhile so be careful ok?
-Dan and Phil

It's just me. Now I'm truely all alone.I threw my bag down and headed to the bathroom. I said I needed a relief didn't I? So let's try this one, cuts.Why not add more decarations to my skin? Lets see why people do this. But Liz, what about your fear of knifes and stuff like that? I could care less right now. I'm desperate. I need a relief, and hopefully this will give it to me.

(Guys I recomend you skip the next part if you don't like detailed descriptions about cuts and blood and stuff. Find the 2nd line of asterisics [*] for the end of the cuts and stuff that is if you want to skip it.)

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I opened the drawer, trying to find some blades. I dug through it and found an old black box. It had the name DAN carved into it. I opened it and inside were exactly what I had been looking for, blades.

The blades weren't new, I could tell. But they also looked like hadn't been used in ages. I picked up a small one out of box.

It was sharp and when the light hit it, it made a shine across the blade. It showed my reflection in the small piece of metal. It was mesmarising.

I needed the perfect place to give myself a cut. I rolled up my sleave, revealing my shoulder. "This should do. It is covered up by short and long sleaves, so it won't be visible." I said to myself.

I grasped the blade and pulled it up towards my shoulder. My skin was bubbling with antisipation, waiting for the relief it needed.

I placed the blade onto my skin, the cold blade aginst my warm skin. I pushed the sharp point deeper into my skin. Small drips of blood already starting to form under the tip of the blade. I dragged it slowly through my skin. Loving every second of pain that I brought upon myself. Loving how slowly it was going. Loving the dark red blood running slowly down my arm. I loved the red stain the blood had given the once stainless knife. How could I have feared something as wonderful as this?

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I started to clean up the wonderful mess I had made. As I did I realized that the bubbling feeling was gone and replaced with some sort of relief. Was it really relief? No, it was only a distraction. One where it poured out the bad through blood. But still, my mind was in a place where I felt little better than I had before. I don't really know how that even worked to be perfectly honest with you. All I know is that I feel a little better and that's all that matters.

I started to pack up the blade I used when I saw that one of the other blades that were bigger, had an old stain of blood. "Did Dan..." I started, but I didn't want to think about it. I quickly finished packing it up and put it back in it's hiding place.

I walked to my room and laid down on the bed. I was starting to drift off asleep when my phone chimed. "Who is texting me? I don't have any friends." I said as I realized that it's probably Dan and Phil. "I should probably see what they want." I mumbled.

I picked up my phone and to my suprise it wasn't them. It was Ava.

I miss you.

I miss you, too Ava.

I think we need to meet.
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Hello everyone! Yeah I know, this is depressing. No, I don't cut and you shouldn't either. Do not be Liz!!!!! But seriously though, don't please?!?! I LOVE YOU ALL!!! PLZ DON'T HURT YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I didn't make it completely clear last time, I will be ending this book soon, but not right away. I still have multiple chapters more to go. You guys have AT LEAST 3 more chapters although I am suspecting that it is going to be 4 or 5 more chapters until the end. (There also may be an epilouge, but sssshhh! You didn't hear that from me.)

And also I would have updated sooner, but my phone screen broke because I dropped it. Yet the other 3000000000 times I've dropped it didn't break it? So I'm getting a new phone, this one I'm typing on was due for a retirement anyways. I had it for 3 years and when I got it it wasn't all that new anyways soooo, yeah. This is an HTC Vivid btw. Also, I bet your wondering, "uh didn't you say that the screen is broken so you didn't update? So why now?" Well, at first I was scared that it was going to cut me or something(which a tiny piece did fall off and stabbed me in the thumb.) But now I got used to it and can type without it assulting my thumb.