The Scarlett Johansson Fan Club

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In news that will surprise absolutely no one, I discovered that your average New York man wants to have sex with Scarlett Johansson.

Let me be more specific: I interviewed hundreds of men. Most of them were Caucasian, in their 30s to 40s, and held a career in finance, law, or at a tech start-up. And, without fail, almost every single one told me that Scarlett Johansson was their dream girl. (Note: Variations included "Scarlett Johansson's head on a yoga-instructor body," or "Scarlett Johansson's smile with Kim Kardashian's ass.") There were days I interviewed ten men in a row and couldn't be bothered to write out her full name over and over in my notes — instead, my paperwork would be covered with "SJ...SJ...SJ."

Look, she is stunningly beautiful. I get it. But if every New York man is longing for ScarJo, they're going to be single for a very long time.

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