The friends I thought were friends were not really friends.
I got teased behind my back, although I could hear I smiled and pretended I couldn't.
They wouldn't care if they hurt me anyways and I was so lonely I at least needed the concept of friendship to hold on to.
Sure 20 pounds heavier, blonde hair, and an ignorant, not ignorant, mind set is an easy target.
But does that make it okay?
The tears I cried at night... The horrible things I believed about myself... they suddenly closed in on me and became my reality.
It was normal, didn't you see those bullying videos, everyone goes through it, and the biggest lie.... it will stop soon ran through my head daily.
It didn't stop and I didn't mind. It filled a gap, a space inside only torment and ridicule could fill.
Today I stand wounded beaten up not my actions but by words. That gap once filled by torment is now filled with hatred and I am myself again.
