1.
There will always be room to grow, there will always be a step taken backwards. There will always be justice, there will always be unfairness. There will always be acceptance, there will always be rejection. There will always be men, there will always be women. There will always be hate, there will always be love. Everything balances itself out. Harry doesn't understand why he's thinking about this, in this moment. Maybe he's trying to find a reason for things that happen. A reason why bad things happen to good people and why good things happen to bad people. He's come to the conclusion that life is unfair and that nothing is his fault, it's destiny that creates sadness. But, he doesn't believe it because he knows. He knows it was his fault. Maybe not one hundred percent, but he was a major part of it.
So here he was, driving home, thinking about everything that happened four, almost five years ago. Had it really been that long? Harry sighed. No, he was over it. He was. He shouldn't be thinking about it. He smiled and parked the car. It was his mother's birthday and he was going to act like any other day. Sometimes he had depressing days, but he was determined to push his feelings and thoughts aside for his mother. Harry talked to his mom for a while on the phone and, when she asked him to go to the store for drinks, he listened. As he was walking inside, he made sure to cover his head with his hood. No one would notice him and that was the point. As he was in the soda aisle, he bumped into the man standing in front of him. He hadn't meant to. He grabbed the soda and didn't see him in the aisle, so when he stood up, he bumped him.
"Hey, lad, I'm sorry I was-" Harry shut up.
There stood, in front of Harry, Zayn Malik. He looked like his old self. He was wearing ragged, black jeans, like always. A black t-shirt was thrown over his chest and his eyes seemed dark. He was tired. He was worn. Harry remembered vividly what their life was like. Always on the go, never sleeping, stressing. He didn't look great, but he seemed to be getting on with life ok.
Harry didn't do anything, but stand there, looking at Zayn, who also stood there, assessing Harry. So, Harry waited until he was done. He wasn't sure what to expect from Zayn. He could probably yell, or be chill, but Harry had no idea. He was unpredictable.
"Harry," was all Zayn said.
Harry flinched, expecting Zayn to yell at him, to accuse him of all the pain that went on, to remind him of the memories. "Zayn, I'm sorry." Harry said and he wasn't totally sure if he was apologizing for everything or just for bumping into him.
Zayn had a snarky smile on his face. "Yeah, ok." He started to turn away.
Harry panicked and quickly ran to Zayn. He needed to know. He couldn't just leave it at that, he needed to know how much pain he was still causing or if he was even causing pain still. "Zayn, wait." He grabbed his shoulder. Zayn flinched away from his hand.
"What?" Zayn asked, clearly annoyed, but still curious to what Harry wanted or needed.
Harry felt the lump in his throat before he even spoke. He could tell that tears would form. "How...how are you doing? You ok, yeah?"
"I'm terrific. It's great to be competing against someone who was like a brother to me. Just grand chap." Zayn rolled his eyes.
Harry didn't really know what to say. Yes, he had broken away from all four of the boys, but it was for the best. He didn't like competing against them, it was just the way things were. They had their fans, and he had his. "Zayn, I..."
"What Harry? You don't like competing against us? Sure, that's why you decided to go solo." Zayn was obviously going for the guilt trip and he had every right. Harry had never explained himself or his actions, so it was predictable that Zayn would be confused. Harry felt selfish and like a total dick, but there was nothing he could do about it. It was over and done with, now, all Harry could hope for was a friendly, maybe even close acquaintanceship. No, he wouldn't even hope for that.
