Repairing a Broken Heart Shaped Mirror

October 6th 2015 & October 10th 2015

Not Again

Gabe has been in the hospital for a good three days, three days too many if you ask me. And for these past three days neither Levi or myself has left his side, but Levi hasn't move from his spot next to Gabe since. I looked over at Levi who was looking at Gabe lost in thought. I felt so sorry for him. The feeling that you couldn't do anything to prevent this. The feeling that it was your fault that all this happen. It's eating him up from the inside out. It's like Deja vu, seeing them like this. Not to long ago that was me and Elijah while they came to support us, now the tables have turned and not for the better. I heard Levi's stomach growl but it didn't faze him. I sighed, "C'mon Levi, don't you want to get something to eat? You haven't eaten since you been here." He was silent. I just sighed again leaving the room to find some food with Elijah in toe.

As Elijah and I stood in the line in a little burger joint only thing my mind would drift to Gabe. He looked so lifeless on that bed. He's amazing caramel skin almost pale as paper, and his beautiful chocolate brown eyes closed for nobody to see. I felt an arm around my shoulders. I look up to see Elijah looking at me sympathetically, "Gabe will be ok, he's strong guy. Only thing we can do is believe he will get through this. And besides, he has you." I looked down smiling feeling my cheeks heat up a little. As I was in my own little world thinking about Gabe Elijah ordered the food to go. As we were walking back to Gabe's room this weird feeling was in the pit of my stomach. What is this feeling? Am I nervous to see Gabe? This is a first I've ever felt like this before. And, I don't know how I should feel about it. We entered the room to see Levi still in the same place he was when we left. Elijah just shook his head and walked towards him taking out his food. "Levi, here eat this you'll need it." Elijah said handing him his food. Levi didn't say a word. Elijah sighed heavily getting agitated, "Look Levi, when Gabe wakes up and sees you haven't ate you know he'll have a fucking fit with you and with me. So just eat!" I jumped at his sudden outburst. Levi looked at Gabe for a minute or two then took the food and started eating. Elijah smiled and went to sit down while I walked pass him and sat on the window sill and looked at slow sunset. This feeling in my stomach. Am I falling back in love with Gabe?

OToo Good to be True

Since that time in the hospital, I can't go back in there. I can't be falling in love with Gabe again I just can't. And plus, I have Xzavier that's all I can ask for he's better than Gabe ever was. So, why do I feel this way? There was a knock on my door and it opened to reveal a smiling Fallon. Just the person I need in this situation. She flopped on my bed and got under the covers with me. "Why you still in bed, it's like 2:15 in the afternoon." I look at her with a brow raised. "What do you mean? You stay in the bed more than I do." I said grinning. She just shrugged, "I mean, what's the point on getting out of bed and putting effort in makeup and clothes, if you know you just going to stay in the house." I just chuckled nodding, "You right. So, that means you want me to go somewhere with you don't you?" She smiled and jumped out of bed grabbing my hand with her pulling me out of bed. "Yeah, we've got to go get some stuff from the store for my mom." She said groaning a little. I shake my head going to my clothes and just took out my black and red flannel, my black and red pants with the black and red Mickey Mouse Vans Xzavier bought me. I really feel like putting on any ear rings since it's just the store. I grabbed my phone and then we left.

As we were driving Fallon glanced over at me. "I heard what happened to Gabe." At the sound of his name my heart started racing, but I brushed it off. "Yeah, I hope he's doing ok, I haven't been there in a couple of days." I said looking out the window. This feeling in my stomach is not fading. Even when someone says his name my heart just races. "Maybe we should visit. Even though he did you wrong, I still think we should visit and be there for him since he was there for you. You know what I mean?" I sighed nodding. I fiddled with my jacket zipper. Should I tell her about how I've been feeling lately? "Bennie? You ok?" She asked worried. I guess it's now or never. I sighed, "Fallon, I've been having these feelings ever since he got into the hospital." She glanced at me with an eyebrow raised, "It's probably because you feel sorry for him because of what happened. You're just feeling sympathetic for him because you were in the same predicament not to long ago." I sighed rubbing the bridge of my nose feeling a headache coming on. What she said makes total sense, but I can't help but to feel like it's something much deeper.

After getting the stuff for her mom and dropping it off we were on our way to the hospital. My stomach was doing flips and I felt like I was going to throw up. We walked up to the lady at the front desk and asked for his room number. Once we got it we made a trip down to his room my heart was beating faster and faster almost beating out my chest. I opened the door to see Levi watching tv next to Gabe's almost lifeless body. Levi looked over at us and I smiled, "Anything?" He grinned sadly shaking his head. I brought a chair up to Gabe's bed and just looked at his lifeless body. I grabbed his hand grinning a little and squeezed it slightly. I gasped when I felt him squeeze back. "Oh my god!" I said surprised feeling myself tear up. Levi rush over to me in worry, "What? What happen?" "Gabe, he-he squeezed my hand." Levi rushed out to find the doctor. I put both hand over his smiling down at him. "Gabe, hey it's me, Bennie. Please wake up everyone misses you, Fallon, Elijah, Levi, and even," I paused. He was my first love, he was my world, he was my everything. "And even I miss you Gabe. Please Gabe, open your eyes. I-I love..." Someone barged through the door. I turned to see Margaret crying hysterically. She ran over towards Gabe which I just side-step out the way. Gabe eyes fluttered open looking up at Margaret. He smiled at her and she smiled back pulling him into a kiss. I turned my head not wanting to see it. I looked over at Fallon seeing she was giving me a sympathetic look but glared daggers at Margaret. She stood up taking my hand, "C'mon Ben, Let's go." "Bennie?" Gabe voice sounded so weak. I stopped in my track not wanting to turn around. I can't look at him right now. I shook my head and continued walking out the hospital.