Twists and Turns (vs. you and me)

Chapter 14 - the end

Liam is standing by the giant window, staring out, the city stretching below him. Bright, celebratory, peaceful, calm. The opposite of what he feels right now.

His thoughts are a mess; his emotions are all over the place. And his knuckles hurt, making him hate himself for hitting Louis so hard. He hadn't meant to really, he had loathed Louis in that moment a lot but smashing his face wasn't in his list of priorities. He is so sorry but he is also not in a way and its too much to handle because it hurts.

Soft hands touch his shoulders from behind and he leans into the touch automatically, a chin rests on his shoulder and long inked arms go around his waist, small hands linking over his stomach.

"Babe, you okay?" Zayn whispers lightly into his ear.

"I didn't mean to," Liam says, his voice threatening to crack.

Zayn doesn't ask him to elaborate, "Yeah, I know."

"He shouldn't have done it," Liam justifies.

"I know."

"But I didn't mean to hurt him."

"You can never mean to hurt anybody Liam," Zayn says, and it is true. Liam might have changed into a hardened up, bad ass over time but inside, he is still that caring, concerned and apprehensive boy Zayn had once wanted to ruin. Funny how it has been the other way round all along.

"What will we do now Zayn? Our friends are against us, everybody is against us. Where do we go from here?"

Zayn doesn't know what to say, he was never good with decisions. If he had been, what a life it would have been for him. He doesn't make decisions, he follows Liam. Because Liam is what defines him and Liam is what keeps him safe. And he wants to stay that way, and he wants Liam to have the first say. But sometimes when Liam breaks, like right now, Zayn knows he has to step up. And recently, Liam has been breaking a lot.

"We have each other," he says, hoping that it's enough for Liam, like it is enough for him, "As long as I have you, I don't care what happens to me. And I don't care who is against me."

Zayn sees Liam smile in the faint reflection of them in the window, his heart bursts with elatedness. Making Liam smile always does that to him.

"Yeah," Liam says, "Just never hate me Zayn, I might have not been good lately, but just don't hate me. I don't think what I'll do if you turn into everybody else. I need you if I have to fight for us, and I promise, I will fight for us, for both of us."

"I believe you. I know you will."

"Never hate me."

"Never can."

They stand in silence, they like how the time slows down around them. No rush, no haste, just them two, away from the world. But their moment of bliss is short termed. They have to jerk apart, startled, when Zayn's phone starts ringing. Zayn makes a reluctant noise before sliding his arms off Liam's waist and pulling his mobile out. Liam watches as his face turns into a mask of anxious when he looks up at Liam and says in a small voice, "Its Will."

"Pick it up," Liam says, swallowing hard. Why is it so difficult to be left alone?

Zayn presses the answer option and puts the phone on speaker, "Hello?"

"Zayn. Where are you?" the voice comes out of the speaker.

"Uh... I am in my room," Zayn answers, looking at Liam who has his lips pursed in a tight line.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Who else is with you?"

"Nobody," he says when Liam shakes his head at him.

"Where is Liam?"

"I don't know. In his room, maybe."

"Okay good, because you are going to tell nobody, pack your bags, and come into the garage this instant. Quick."

"What?!" Zayn asks baffled, Liam mirroring his expression.

"You are going back to London; you have to be seen with Perrie if we are announcing your engagement in a week, if you didn't know engagements don't happen over the phone."

"I have to leave right now?"

"Yes, I have booked the flight, a driver is waiting in the garage to take you to the airport. Hurry."

"But.."

"You are going back right now Zayn, that's final. You'll be coming back in two days for the TCAs with Perrie. Now get packing."

There is a clicking sound after that, signaling Will has hung up. Zayn doesn't get time to react for Liam is making a grunting sound; he is growling and snarling at the same time. The kind of sound he makes when he is angry, when he stubs his toe or accidentally hits the edge of a table with his waist, while he walks to the nearest wall and punches it with the same fist he had hit Louis with. He knows what this is, they are not going to let Zayn stay with him now, they are going to take him away every time they have some time together, there is always going to be a reason, they are going to force them apart until one of them forgets the other or one of them breaks down completely.

He doesn't resist though when arms, too weak for him, push him away from the wall and Zayn is hugging him from behind, snuggling his face into the nape of his neck, and muttering a chain of "its okay liam i love you i love you i love you" and Liam calms down because Zayn needs him, his limbs failing him as he falls to the ground. And like expected, Zayn falls with him, still holding him tightly to himself, and crying because where Liam punches walls to vent out his frustration, Zayn cries.

"They are never going to leave us alone, Zayn. They are going to force us away every time we try," Liam says, voice hoarse. He hates being weak, he isn't the Liam who used to cry, he hates that Liam.

"Then we will try harder, Li, and no one will force us away. You have me stuck to yourself for life, I might be going away but you know you are the only one I will come back to."

"Try to stay away from her as much as possible," Liam says, "I don't want you smelling like her when you come back."

"I will."

"And miss me a lot."

"Obviously."

"And you belong to me."

"Yes."

"And you love me."

"You."

"Don't let her make you wear a ring. Break her face if she tries."

"Okay."

"I love you Zayn."

"MTL, Liam."

Liam chuckles, wiping his nose, "Yeah."

"And I will be back as soon as I can," Zayn says, kisses his head.

"Then we also have to write our own dictionary," Liam says.

"You remember that?"

"I remember everything, when it's you."

"You are the best thing in my life," Zayn states.

Then they are kissing. Tongue and teeth, rough but slow. Liam taking as much of him as he can, so that the taste can last long enough, until he can claim Zayn's mouth again, Until he can touch him again, and if you were as desperately in love with someone as he is with Zayn, you would understand. You would understand how hard it is to stop kissing, to stop crying as you let go, as you watch them pack and you help them with a weight on your heart, and you walk downstairs with them, knowing you won't be seeing them for god knows how many hours once they are out that door. And you kiss them again, and you memorize the touch of their fingers on your face and you wish them a fun flight even when you don't want them to have fun without you, and they say how they'll miss you too much to have any kind of fun, and they say your name like 'Leeyum' as you wave and they disappear into the darkness of the night, and you stand there with a hole in your chest and tears on your face. It's so hard, it's so damn hard.

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