what now » h.s

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There we were, the center of his apartment; arguing. The way he bellowed at me was frightening, extremely, but I would never let that show. He was manipulative, controlling, loud, an asshole, and a witty one at that. But I loved him. I was utterly, completely, one hundred percent in love with the man that stood before me. He’s infuriating but kind and loving. As much as I wanted him, I couldn’t have him. As much as I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and cling onto him for all of eternity, I couldn’t. Our relationship is much more complex than just kissing and making up, it was figuring out the consequences and being smart and compromising. But he won’t have it, it’s his way or no way, and I won’t stand for it.

“Why can’t you just listen to me for once?” He yells as he twists and tangles his curls between his fingers.

“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?” I step forward, challenging him.

He rolls his eyes, “When have you ever just sat and listened and just did what I told you?”

“Maybe because I'm not a fucking dog! I'm not just going to sit back and let you push me around, I have a say in whatever this is,” I shout, motioning between us, “And I damn right have a say in this shit we’re stuck in.” My voice cracks at the end and I ignore the emotions that are swimming in my blood.

He laughs loudly, almost mockingly, “We wouldn’t be in this shit if it weren’t for you!”

“Oh,” I step forward once more, “So you’re blaming this all on me? Like this shit is my fault? It all started with you when you practically ran me over when I first came here, it all started with you, you fucking asshole!” At this point I'm not even shouting anymore, I'm full on yelling.

“It’s not my fault you were in my god damned way, and it’s not my fault that you fucking moved here! My life would have been so less complicated without you in it, you fucked it all up. You and your fucked up problems, you being a nosy bitch, and getting into my shit. You’re like a fucking pet that won’t shut the fuck up already!” He screamed at me, his veins in his bulging out, his voice was growing higher and higher, his biceps flex as he exaggerates each syllable in each word.

I scoff at him, pressing my palms on his chest and shoving him back against the wall, “Really? You really wanna fucking go there? Talk about my shit problems? Huh?” I scream and shove him against the wall once more, “Huh? You’re such an ass and you’re too blind to see that you’re just as fucked up as me! So I don’t want to fucking hear it! You have no right to talk about my problems when you have daddy issues yourself alright? You’re not much better than I am.” I stare him down, looking straight into his jade eyes, trying to find any trace of sympathy that might swim throughout them. There’s nothing. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe his sympathy is being blocked by the gloss that shields my eyes from looking further.

He’s silent, he’s completely silent. He stands there, his breathing heavy as he stares down from the three inches he has from above me. I take all the strength I have to force myself not to cry, to prove to him that he hasn’t broken me, that he hasn’t broken me emotionally, that he’s practically ripped my heart in two.

“What are you thinking?” He says calmly, his eyes burning into mine.

“Why do you even care?” I croak and turn my head to the side.

He sighs and dips his head into his hands, and for a second I think he feels regret, but that feelings washes over me when he lifts his head back up and his face is stiff, no emotion.

“I don’t,” He replies harshly, “You should leave.”

Confusion crosses my mind and it takes a second or two to realize that whatever we had is done. He doesn’t want me around anymore, he doesn’t care about me. Hell, did he ever care about me?

I scoff at his before stepping back, “I'm so done,” I murmur and shake my head, swallowing back the tears.

“With what?”

I turn back at him, “Whatever this was, and I’m done. I don’t know what it was, but I loved it. I loved talking to you, I loved laughing with you, I loved spending time with you, I loved being around you, I just, I--”

“Don’t say it,” He cuts me off.

I look up at him and nod, “I won’t, but don’t expect to ever see me again.”

I grab my coat and walk out his door, the tears I've been holding in start to slip down my cheeks and I quickly wipe them away. Just as I’m about to take another step down the hallway, I hear shuffling in the hallway that I'm soon about to pass. I stop dead in my tracks, hoping it’s not what I think it is. I begin to walk backwards as quietly as I could. I look behind me and I notice its clear, I could just run the other way, I turn back around and there stands a man, dark brown hair, deep brown eyes, and eyeing me. I've seen him before. I make eye contact and I back away faster, I turn to bolt into a run and on the other side of the hallway comes another man, red hair and blue eyes. I turn to see both men and they start coming closer. I try to make a run past the man with the red hair because he seems easier than the other but he catches me and I let out a scream.

“Shut up!” The man yells and tries to hold me down as I struggle in his arms.

I continue to scream and scream and scream, until a bag covers over my head and I know this is going to be the end. I let out one more scream before the smell of the bag puts me under, I scream his name, loud, as if I'm screaming bloody Mary.

“Harry!”