No one, other than me, knows anything about what goes on in Assassination Corp. What happens at Assassination Corp (or the place we kill you) stays at Assassination Corp (or at the place we kill you.) No one understands the satisfaction of killing someone until you kill them.
Missions are like desserts, they're really good until you finish them, because you have to clean up the mess and burn down the spot you killed someone. Missions give me those wonderful tingles you get when you have your first kiss or get the present you asked for on Christmas morning. Even though useless humans are silly with words and feelings, I love sharing moments with the tingles and chills I get. I bet you're thinking, "Useless humans? Aren't you one?", but no I am not technically human. I'm a Unim. We have human qualities but we actually know our purpose in life and look a lot cooler.
Right, my name is oneDeath. Although, my assassin name is killingSpree. I got the name back in '79, but not in 1979, it was 1079. My appearance is rather small and skinny. I have blue pigment eyes, but they go black at the thought of blood. I have long, curly, dirty-blond hair, with little black pointy horns on the top of my head. I have a scar on my bottom lip, and another one on my cheek. I kill for a living, of course but I also like eating... people after their dead. Wait.. what? I kind of have a thing for blue-unims, but you don't need to know that because it's not like you care. Well, you're probably a useless human, anyway so of course you freaking care.
Unims have sharp-pointed teeth, various hair color, colored horns and acid saliva. We also have this thing where when we hear something from behind we can pop out our back bones and move them. Unims' purpose in life is to be a killer and if not than we are usually get called to your paradox world take over someone's life and kill them like that. Unims aren't bad at all, we're just here to make sure you don't over populate.
How we know who to kill, where to kill, and when to kill is information given to us by the chief of assassination. His name is topKill. topKill is now the only one who can read my face expressions well enough to know what I'm saying to him, after 80 years of service. I don't speak because well I don't want to, and topKill doesn't care and knows my face expressions so it's fine. In Assassination Corp., there are about 10 positions with the range of 100 unims per job. Killing, my job, is to get information on the cite, the person and the way to kill. Hacking, is to hack the paradox mainframe and access the database of human names. Fixing, is to fix the broken objects killers, hackers and cleaners break. Making, is to make to ordered killing objects or wristCallers killers need. Programming, is getting information from the hackers and sending them to the killers. Cleaning, is cleaning up around the Corp. to not attract mice. Outside-ing, is when humans call to give us information on killing someone. Fooding, is when we bring back the dead body, so we can properly cook and eat it. Mice-ing, is snooping around human paradox to kill karma humans, like mobsters, thugs, gangs, and human assassins. Scientists, last but not least, is Unims who are all about evolving the killers so we can be better. The Scientists know they can't upgrade me, because I'm the best.
Unim love, is the last thing I'm going to talk to you about. Unims fall in love faster than the speed of light. It's a problem over here. When a Unim is in love they produce a powerful think odor that is very, how can I say this... it's very attracting. Male Unims give off a strong attracting odor that makes all the girls flee to said heart-racing in love unim, vice versa for females. The problem about in-love unims are that if they love someone you will love them back. That hasn't happened to me yet and I hope it never does. Also when a Unim is in love they strike who they love with a powerful volt that can only be felt and seen by them two.
That is all you need to know about the Unims, reader. You, will need to know this for when I tell you the most amazing, but sickly story I speak of. Never call me oneDeath, or it will be a murder and not an assassination.
