Moving On

Chapter Four

Adam died a month before he turned 23, two months before she turned 21 but it was the first year he wasn't the first to wish her on her birthday. The year Adam died, Anaya went to the cemetery everyday, just talking to him, trying to feel his presence. When his birthday came, she woke up at 12 in the morning, went to the cemetery and wished him, she was not breaking her promise. When her birthday came around, she missed Adam more than ever, how he was the first to always wish her. She locked herself in her room and cried, all day. It was too hard. She thought of Adam's parents a lot, she even went to visit them a few times, but couldn't bring herself to walk into his room. A few months after Adam died, his parents moved, again, shortly after Adam's funeral because they couldn't deal with being where their only son passed away. Anaya understood that but that only came as a realization that Adam was not here anymore, whoever would move into that house would take his room, as if he were never there. Where the two of them played so many years before, where they talked about the littlest thing, or even the biggest things that they thought was so important in their lives, where they just laid next to each other, no words spoken or needed, just each other, where they made love for the first time, where Adam proposed, and where he collapsed. As the months went by, Anaya visited the cemetery less, the next time she went was on his first death anniversary.

    The drive home was a short one, but every time Anaya goes or comes back from visiting Adam's grave, it seems like a very long drive. She went home and ate breakfast and sat down to finish her final paper, there was only a month of school left and she would graduate. The weeks went by fast, and then it was Adam's birthday and Anaya went to Adam's grave, she sat in front of his headstone again.

"Tomorrow is graduation. I miss you a lot, every morning I wake up with a gnawing pain in my chest. I wish you were here with me, graduating with me and living your life, with me... I love you and I always will." She continuously wiped the tears pouring down her cheeks.

The next day was her graduation. Anaya graduated with her bachelor's in psychology, when her name was called, her mother was the loudest, the proudest. Then there was a moment of silence for Adam, it was respectful. Anaya missed him so much that day, knowing that he would've graduated with her if fate wasn't so cruel. But the pain was a little less because she knew he was in a better place, she knew how much he loved her and she would not cherish him by not living.

Anaya went to work the following day, came home and checked the mail. She got her letter from Stanford, she applied for the master's program in psychology and this letter would confirm if she was accepted or rejected. She was too nervous to open it, so she waited for her mother to come home from work, they could open it together. When her mother came home an hour and a half later, Anaya told her the news.

"I thought maybe we can open it together."

"Of course honey, where is the letter?" Anaya went to her room and brought the letter to her mother's room, she held it up and drew in a deep breath. She took five seconds staring at the envelope.

"Are you ready?" Her mother was also nervous, she was aware of the loss her daughter faced, and despite that, how well she did in school. She deserved this chance.

"Yes." Anaya slowly opened the envelope and took the letter out. She opened it up and read it, her mother was waiting, anticipating.

"Well?..." She was staring at Anaya's poker face which broke into a huge smile a moment later.

"I got in mom!" Anaya squeezed her mother, and yelled with joy.

Stanford was the perfect choice for Anaya, she did not have to leave home, it was close enough for her to drive to and from school. The summer break breezed by, but Anaya was excited to start her classes, closer to becoming a therapist. It was only a few classes she needed to take but the most challenging course for her was the Behavioral Neuroscience class. The first week was a handful, she read a big chunk of her course textbook in one weekend, but she was smart. She knew what she was reading. Time went as quick as it always does, and as always Anaya was doing very well in her classes. In no time it was the spring semester and she was almost halfway done with graduate school. Things were pretty much the same, at home and at school. Anaya would go home after her classes and when her mother came home from work, the two would watch t.v together, order pizza, or takeout and call it a day. Sometimes when her mother was not too tired, she would cook, or sometimes Anaya would help out and cook. Her home was definitely her comfort zone. At school, Anaya would go to her lectures, take her tests, write her papers and get good grades, nothing changed until the professor from her Psychological Assessment class decided to assign a group paper. With the uneven amount of students in the class, most of the groups consisted of three students, while Anaya was stuck with only one other person.