Backstage Pass

Does He Know?

After the election, we proceeded to play theater sports games. A game of Word Ball, Space Jump, Freeze, and World's Worst. The classics. I was bursting with enthusiasm, given that I was kind of an Officer now. It sounds lame to anyone who didn't give a flying frick about Improv, but it was really important to me. It didn't occur to me how incredibly short two hours can be. The fun was over, the bus passes were passed out, and the Impov meeting was done. 

"You were great in there, Melody!" Ranee gushed.

"Thanks, friend. I didn't think I'd win," I shrugged. We stood outside the school, waiting for our buses. The other Officers were standing in a separate group just to the left of us. Devin was literally two feet away from us. My heart was pounding. Normal girls get nervous around a group of hot boys; I get nervous around a group of normal kids my age.

"You should talk to Devin," Paige grinned. I turned to look at him. He was laughing at something Dallas had said and I sighed. 

"Nah, I can't. I have a major squish on the guy, I just can't," I stared at my rainbow Vans. 

"A what?"

"A squish. You know what a crush is?" I began to clarify, " Well, a squish is like that. The only difference is there's no romantic attraction. You just like them and you want to be their friend and have a deep connection with them. I have a squish on Devin and I probably will until he graduates."

"I swear, Melody, we are going to make you talk to him," Paige threatened.

"No, Paige--" I tried to stop her, but there was no stopping Paige with this sort of thing.

"Oh, Devin!" Ranee sang. He turned to us and I wanted to run for cover. My face got hot and I timidly gave him a quick wave. "Melody wanted to talk to you."

I gave Ranee and Paige a look of death, turned to Devin, and said defensively, " I don't want to talk to you!" 

His eyes grew wide and I followed quickly after. Paige murmured, "Wow, Mel, harsh."

"That was rude, oh, my god, I am so sorry!" I blabbered. His face gave into a smile and he turned away. Paige and Ranee proceeded to laugh at my embarrassment.

And so begins the rest of my life

~

 It was December, now. I sat in study period at school, hoping that I would get run over by a bus. It was Depression and Suicide Awareness day at Strongfair High. Which, you know, was really pointless in my case because I already knew I was depressed. 

The survey placed in front of me was an obnoxiously cheery blue, filled with questions that all answered yes. I stared at the last question the longest and I nearly didn't turn the freaking sheet in.

Have you ever tried to commit suicide? Yes.

The bell finally rang. I was really glad Algebra was over and I could head to German. I wondered if they would try to "reach out to me". Whoever "they" were. I had kinda been this way ever since sixth grade; the concept of death was inviting, I guess. 

"Hey, Mel. How are you, Mel? Mel," Jonathan ran up to me. He had been poking fun at my nickname for months now. We had met the year previous in German 1. Looking back at our relationship, I couldn't believe I fell for his weird 90's haircut and bad puns. I mean, his blue eyes were gorgeous but other than that, eh. He was more Abigail's type.

"Melody!" 

Speak of the devil, I smiled. A short figure scurried up from behind me. Abigail had been one of my best friends since the eighth grade. I had always wondered how that much sass, attitude, wit, and bad humor could fit into someone that short. We met in Algebra 1 Honors, where she passed and I didn't. She was pretty amazing in my eyes; not everyone could quote the Mortal Instruments like she could. Her light brown hair was in its usual side ponytail and she wore an oversized hoodie. She looked really snuggly but she could tear you to shreds if she wanted. Verbally, of course. She wouldn't be able to punch you in the face because she wouldn't be able to reach. Jonathan patted her head and she proceeded to internally melt. I knew she liked him, despite her current boyfriend. She always denied it, but I was her best friend (I think) and I knew better. Her and her boyfriend were kind of a matter of indifference, to put it harshly. I respected they were together, I just didn't ship it.

"How was Improv?" she asked me, trying to ignore Jonathan. 

"Magnificent, as always." 

"Wow, that's really great!" she gave me a thumbs up. Another thing about my friends: they were weird about compliments. Then again, so was I. We make generic comments about our accomplishments. We don't mind though. She usually showed up to all the meetings but she had Crew. Physical effort didn't settle well with me unless it was for theater.

"Yeah, auditions for the team are coming up soon," I added. I wanted to audition for the theater sports team, but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. I could strike up conversations with Dallas, Jack, and VP Will, but I was yet to make friends with Devin, Rachel and Vanessa. If I were to make the team, I would have to talk to them even more. I already drooled over them on weekdays but I wasn't sure if I was ready to commit.

"Do it," Abigail droned. 

"But Devin-"

"Hush, child. Fuck Devin."

"She's trying," a voice jumped in. It was Riley, another friend of mine. I met her in the seventh grade when I subconciously stalked her. It was a squish that had gotten out of control. I thought she was super cool and I saw her everyday because she was in almost every class with me. She was tall-ish and her hair was reddish brown. Her eyes were probably my favorite physical thing about her. They were green with flecks of gold in them, with a black ring on the outside. Her glasses were always in the way though.

"Pfft, gah! Guys, can you not?" I flailed my arms in frustration.

"What? You know you think about it!" Abigail teased. She waggled her eyebrows for emphasis. 

"Oh, I suppose you're right. Just like you freak out over Jonathan everyday. Pray tell, Abigail, when do you plan on telling Oliver he's way too vanilla?" Abigail glared at me. Lucky for her, Jonathan had already left. 

"Oliver is my boyfriend," she stated.

"That doesn't answer the question," Riley and I mumbled.

ROARRRRR

The  hallways began to clear at the sound of the warning bell. The Strongfair Lions 

"See you later," Riley waved. I sighed at her departure. I only had one class with her this year. Friggin' warning bell, I thought. Abigail and I walked into German together; Jonathan was sitting at one end of the room and Abigail and I exchanged looks.

"We'll talk about the team at lunch, okay?" she suggested.

"Cool beans. However, something tells me we won't just be talking about theater," I looked over at Jonathan who was looking at Abigail. Her faced turned red and she took her seat.

I sat down next to my partner and he nodded at me. I smiled, took out my hausaufgaben,  and thought back to the survey. They would probably call me down to talk about it. They would probably call my parents.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

Oh, wait, I mean fudging. Not cursing is hard, alright?