I had never really seen the point of maths. It was just numbers on a page that somebody, somewhere a long time ago had decided were right or wrong. I don't like the definition of being totally correct, because no-one is, I prefer the blurred lines where anything is justified. So as Katy stands at the front and talks about the value of x, I wonder whether she cares about the value of anything else. The value of a warm jumper, or Christmas Eve or really good ice-cream, maybe x is worth one thousand kisses or a secret that you've never told.
"Ursula, if you wanna, you can tell me the value of x"
I barely look up before some smart ass at the front of the class has told her for me. Good for them. Before we go on I should tell you that I go to one of those progressive schools where you call the teachers by their first names and wear your own clothes, which you think would be liberating but actually I've never felt more encased. You are judged almost exclusively on the way you dress with no thought to your personality or ability. It's okay though because I'm used to experiencing prejudice and have only ever really had one friend. I like to dress weird on purpose to make people feel uncomfortable but also because I can. I hate being told that what I am wearing is not right because there is no right or wrong, its all a blurred line. Katy is the definition of what is "right" she got straight A's at this very school, whilst cultivating an enviable social life and variety of extra curricular activities. Right now she is wearing a fitted pair of jeans with shirt and v-neck jumper, modest enough to chat to the headmaster but flirty enough to keep the boys attention during a double period. But she came back to teach at her own school, her line is so unfathomably sharp that she hasn't gone out of a 50 metre radius in the last 10 years. In short her horizons were as tiny as her waist. The shrill scream of the bell releases us out of Class and into The Dome, which is the pet name for the centre of a ring of class rooms that's filled with trees and the smell of fried food wafting from the canteen. I slipped my bag into the crook of my elbow and waltzed over to Blaze and Liza, who were standing by history looking disheartened; probably due to the dictatorial teaching style of their history tutor Mr. Cranthorpe.
"Hey losers, how was history?", I braced myself for a long winded monologue from Liza about the oppression of teenagers and how Mr. Cranthorpe should be tried and hanged for breaking the Geneva Convention.
"Yeah, fine" Liza was staring at her iPhone moving her fingers round the screen.
"What's up with her?"
"She's got an internet hottie who insists on messaging her every friggin' moment of the day", Blaze as per usual was wearing his jeans and 'normalasfrigginpossible' t-shirt. Blaze came from a background where being normal was not encouraged, so being Blaze, he made took every opportunity to be as conventional as possible. His mum is an activist, who had a particular interest in the rights of armadillos that were used in leprosy vaccination trials, she wore a lot of hemp and tie dye. His dad was never around because he was constantly on some remote island in Scotland watching puffins, he wore a lot of hemp too.
"So who is this delicious hunk of ham then Liz?"
"Actually I don't judge him purely on his looks, because I'm not that shallow or egotistical"
Blaze grinned, "But he is pretty spicy though", I should probably mention that Blaze is gay.
"OK, he's aesthetically pleasing but he is also has a wonderful aura, a very pure soul" Liza is an aspiring gypsy, she loves tarot cards, peoples auras and putting curses on me when I piss her off.
"What do you talk to him about? Is he dirty?"
"Urgh, no, he is a very respectable young shaman"
"A shaman?"
"Yeah! I met him on this online game, 'Elven Conquest' "
"Have you heard this Blaze?"
"Unfortunately, I can't make up my mind as to whether it is incredible mystical and romantic or insanely creepy"
"I choose the latter"
Just ahead of us was the lunch hall, probably the oldest building in the entire school because everything else had been designed by some artist in the early 2000's. The Lunch Hall was just a standard red brick hall, but inside was filled with different art projects and usually a group of musical theatre students practising a piece of contemporary dance . We filed in and took a tray, shuffling slowly towards the food.
"She's planning to meet up with him"
"Is that not a bit, well, dodgy?"
"Raven is not dodgy!"
"Raven, are you kidding me, that is like the most ridiculous name I have ever heard"
Blaze looked at me "Really bitch, really?"
"It's not his actual name, but he says he wants to be mysterious. I call myself Shadow"
"Is it not just the cringiest friggin' thing you have ever heard?"
"Just a little bit, but don't worry about it Liz, its cute.....in a weird kind pedophile-ey way"
Liza looked at me with indignation and flounced over to our regular table and slammed her tray down. Blaze let out a sigh of exasperation and we followed after her. Blaze and I had gone for some unspecified meat swimming in a thick red sauce, vaguely reminding me of a bleeding leg. Liza was eating salad, which for her was completely out of character as she usually bought a piece of pecan pie from home to eat.
"Hey Liz, whats with the rabbit food?"
"They finally run out of pecan friggin' pie?"
"No, its just I kinda wanted to....y'know... slim down a bit before I meet him"
I am a big believer in the idea that you should not change yourself for everyone. Mainly because my mum is a body image counselor so as a result I have the the best body image in the history of fifteen year old girls. Liza was curvy, but in a good way. She had wide hips and shoulders and not a bad pair of boobs, but she was in no way fat or even chubby.
"Liza.."
"No, Ursula before you start, its my body and its my choice. He is expecting a willowy, elven goddess and here I am a fat dumpy teenager with not even an ounce of grace or black magic"
"If he is expecting a girl with black friggin' magic, then he is all wrong in the head. Liza, you're drop dead gorgeous why the hell should you change for him. He knows what you are, he wouldn't talk to you if he didn't think you were a spicy ass elf"
"Yeah, but it's mainly just for me to feel confident"
"This guy sounds creepy Liza, I don't think meeting up with him is such a good idea. He might be lovely, but also he might not"
"Why can't I just do what I want, why do you have to voice your 'oh so importan' opinion on everything I do Ursula? I'm going to meet him tonight, and you two can either tell me everything is going to be great or you can fuck off"
By this point her pitch had raised to a scream and the whole lunch hall was looking at us. Liza went red in the face and stormed out of the lunch hall. Blaze and I shut up and carried on eating, trying not to make anymore of a scene.
