I can't look at anyone else the way I do to you. I see you everywhere. I look for you everywhere because my heart is a compass that always leads me back to you. The feeling in my gut when your electric light blue eyes meet mine is something I've never felt before. When you smile it convinces me that everything is going to be okay, even when it definitely isn't.
When I see you with her I feel sick. I feel sick because I know that sometimes you're not happy with her. And that kills me. I want to see you happy. Even if it's not with me. People tell me I'm in a trance every time I talk about you. When you're close to me I can't help but think about how it would feel if I pressed my lips against yours. but I know they're not mine to do so. But if you kissed me first, I'd have to pinch myself to know I'm not dreaming. Its just too good to be true. When you make little digs at me I can't help but smile and dig right back at you.. just so you'll smile too. everything reminds me of you. Your favourite songs and the number of your age. Your initials. Even if you get drunk or do bad things I can't get mad at you because you make me get a feeling in my gut that makes me want to stay with you forever. When I see you walk up to her after you win the match I can't help but wonder why you didn't walk to me and what it would be like if you did. None of your friends know me. I want to meet them. You have good taste in people. I get so jealous when I see you have such good relationships and so much fun with other girls because we could have that too. If only you'd open up. Then you'd value how beautiful and amazing I can really be. If I could change your image of me then maybe you'd see how well everything would go down. How perfect everything would work out for us because I know I probably havent made the best first impression but trust me, I tried. But I'm also so scared because I'm falling in deeper and deeper every time we spend time together. Every day. I've fallen so hard it's too late to pull out. I see you every time I close my eyes. Your perfect figure whacking an ace down the middle of the court. Your eyes looking into mine with extreme eye contact when I talk. Like my words have your full attention. It happens when you make a joke or tell me about a funny experience you had. And I know I don't stand a chance but I'm too stubborn to admit it. Why don't you show extra interest like all of the other guys do? Maybe I always just want what I can't have. But most of all I wish you liked me too. Either way I'm going to get hurt. Its already too late. You're so so out of my league. But hey let me dream. Let me dream about running my hands through your dark curly hair, or you wrapping your tanned arms around my waist. Let me dream about spending long nights together at the beach. Training together. But you probably do all of that with her, and that makes me so sad because I wish that was me so bad. And sometimes I wonder what if there's that little chance that I'm the one? What if you're spending all this special moments with someone that you most likely won't stay with? You told me yourself. Relationships are difficult. But ours wouldn't be. If you give it a shot. I would try to keep everything as simple as I could just so I could stay with you. Why wouldn't you want to spend those special moments with someone who in the future would want to make you happy every single day? I never want to see you upset, angry, or dissapointed. I want to do everything in my power to make it better. I just don't know how. If only you'd trust me a little more. Open up to me. I've known you for so long yet I still wonder, how do I know what you feel towards me? If you just tell me. You don't need to spend time with me if it makes you unhappy. If you do like me even a little bit then tell me with your honest blue eyes, how much. I'm getting mixed signals. One day you seem so interested the other you seem awfully.. off. But each time I see your perfect imperfections when you effortlessly so elegantly pound the ball to the corners of the court, I know one thing for sure that wont ever change. I love you. You don't even have to like me back. Either way will always love you. I will love you if you get drunk, if you get into a fight, if you stuff up an important exam or if you lose a match to someone you're not worthy of losing to. I will love you. No matter what.
