Tea in the Harbour

Pick-Up Lines

...Well, er, the title is fairly obvious this time. /////

I was walking down the light-reflecting pavement, wondering what the benefits of "freedom of speech" really entailed, when she grabbed my arm. "Excuse me," I sputtered, rather confused. She turned to face me and put a finger to her lips, producing a soft 'sh' sound. She then shifted her eyes like she was looking for something, and sighed in relief whenever she didn't (or did) see whatever she was looking for.

"I don't have a lot of time," she blurted. I pulled away and frowned, while she just continued to stare at me expectantly. "What," I began, "may I ask, are you doing?" She brushed her curls off of her shoulder like some sort of dramatic 'diva-queen' and grinned.

"Sorry for the random introduction, but you see, I'm an, erm, spy, and there's somebody trying to kill me right now, so," she took sunglasses out from her bag and put them on her face. I simply scoffed, turned around, and began walking in the other direction.

"Wait!" she called, anxiously running towards me. "You have to believe me, this is a matter of life and death!"

I stopped walking and stared at her blankly. She was either joking, or she needed psychiatric help. I didn't want to be the brunt of a prank, but if she hurt herself, I would, technically, be at fault.

I squinted. "What exactly do you propose I do about it?" Her eyes lit up, and she took a step closer to me. "Well, you see, if I'm standing next to somebody at all times, then he can't shoot me without killing the other person." Surely she wasn't proposing-

"And if you stay with me, I'll buy you a drink or something, okay? It'll only be for the day, I promise!," she gushed. I took a step backwards, and crossed my arms. "You're mental," I declared. She threw her arms up into the air in exasperation.

"Listen, I'm sorry, I-" "

"Leave me alone." There wasn't much venom in my voice, but she looked fairly upset anyways. "Geez, it was a pick-up line, man, okay?"

My eyes widened. She was trying to... flirt with me? Before I could stop myself, a blush crept up my cheeks.  My mouth opening and closing like some sort of aquatic creature, I very confidently mustered up a choked "What?"

She laughed, and put her hand on my shoulder. Not being very well-versed in romantic interactions, I ducked and ran as fast as  I could in the opposite direction.

//////

The next time I saw her, she was sitting cross-legged on a park bench. I had been walking through the three-mile nature walk back to my flat because I missed the last bus away from the local college. If my face hadn't already been red from the heat, it certainly became so when she noticed me and waved.

Ever since our last interaction, I couldn't help-you try forgetting something like that- thinking about the way her blonde curls fell over her shoulders and the way her eyelashes framed her crystal blue eyes. I tried to pretend that I hadn't seen her, but that plan failed when she stood up and began walking towards me. I froze in my tracks.

"Hey, you look familiar," she said impishly. I scowled. It figures, I thought, that she would forget our interaction. I averted my gaze. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about," I muttered. She frowned momentarily, before grinning again.

"No, really, didn't we have a class together?," she asked. It didn't matter how cute she was, this was getting annoying. "No," I said, clenching my jaw.

I lifted my foot to continue walking when she gave me the cheesiest glance I'd ever seen.

"Aw, but I could've sworn we had chemistry." I choked on my saliva and began sputtering out random nonsense that in any other situation could have been translated as frustration. This girl reminded me of the cheerleaders that had broken certain limbs by falling off of a moving vehicle while "car-surfing," yet I was rendered speechless at her display of flirtation.