The Space Between Stars

2 // Heartbeat

I swear, I am in love. I know that's a bad thing, to like your teacher, but I can not get him out of my mind. He's just so, so hot! I don't know any other way to explain it, I just can't get enough of him. My heart had stopped, I felt so good yet so guilty at the same time. But what can I say? I don't think love is beating the endless shit out of each other and always arguing, nonstop. I've always told myself I am going to find a great man, Mama is always telling me I deserve a good one, and my children deserve better.

I always tell my mom that I'll always love them, no matter how much I'm beaten, drugged and depressed because of their actions, but she says there is no way possible I can do that. I tell her we always have a choice, be positive or be negative.  She always looks at me and blushes. She says that she will always love me, no matter what happens or who I become. I'll always smile back.

I take my seat in pre-calculus, as Mister Branwell opens his class. He isn't nearly as hot as Mister Johnson, but then again he's like, 65 years old. He's super nice though, he teaches his class very well, even though he just shows us how to do things, which he thinks is very stupid, we still do great in his class, and all of them for that matter.

"Good Morning, class."

"Good Morning, Mister Branwell."

"I hope everyone has had a wonderful day up to this point, and I hope will continue to. Now today we will have an introduction to tangent lines."

As he started to give his lecture, I trailed off again. I began thinking about the abuse I've been suffering, the abuse Mama has endured, and how she always was so nice and caring, how she had done nothing to deserve the treatment Dad gave her. She's so, innocent. I never understood the hatred my dad had for us. I haven't seen him drink once, so it always scared me to see what would happen if he did drink.

"Miss Tessa, why are you not taking your notes?" Mister Branwell had interrupted my train of thought.

"Oh, sorry sir, I was just," I trailed off looking for an excuse so he wouldn't call the counseling office so I wouldn't be taken away or my parents got restraining orders on each other. It was enough stress as it was. "I was just reviewing the other days notes, for that test next week." I said, my voice a little shaky.

"Miss Tessa, are you okay?" He inquires.

"Yes sir, I'm okay." I say, hiding my fear.

"Okay. Copy off Sarah's notes please." I sigh in relief to his words.

Sarah offers me her book. I take it and see the clean handwriting, the impeccable lines of her letters and drawings of graphs and charts. I could only continue to wonder why, why I was here. But it was all for a reason, and that made me at ease.