Peyton Meyer imagines

Abandoned

I've felt abandoned for years by you. I felt like a puzzle piece into your game that you call life. It seemed like I was in your life with no way out, even though I wanted that way out. I wanted that out so fucking bad. To have to here about you all the time by everyone was killing me. It was breaking my heart.

I never actually thought I would have a life without you. I'm not even sure if I truly wanted one. I knew I always wanted that way out, but I don't think I ever meant it. It just hurt, it hurt so damn much.

You would say you loved me, and I think you meant it. But to me you never were good at showing it. I just couldn't ever understand why. Why you would just leave my life (but not fully) and then come back like nothing happened?

I know you say you have changed, but like I always say "I'll believe it when I see it." I'm not sure how long or if I ever want to see your change. I'm happy you say your doing better, but at the moment I don't think I'm ready to accept you back into my life.

You honestly might never know how much pain you have caused me. I don't think you would ever want to know. I use to cry myself to sleep over you, and then I thought I had gotten over it. I hadn't cried because of you in so long. I was getting better. And then I read the letter you sent me.

I'm not sure if I'm even going to send this to you or not. I think it's good for me to write all of this down anyway. No matter how much at one point I wanted to hate you, I still love you. My love for you has been there since the day I met you and it still is. I'm just not ready yet to be apart of your game you call life. 
~Y/N

I sat in my room trying to decide wether or not to send the letter to him. I mean he says he's changed, but I don't know if I'm ready for him to disappoint me.

I walked outside and put the letter in the mailbox. A part of me is a nervous wreck and the other part is relieved. I just don't know how to feel right now.
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A/N: Okay guys, this will also be another one that will have more parts. I'm not sure how many parts, but I know more than just this one. I really hope you liked this chapter. Please let me know your thoughts. I love reading your comments. I love all of you so much. Xx