Reckless [Asking Alexandria love story]

Chapter 10

James' p.o.v

When I walked in on that scene in tha bathroom, I honestly didn't think it was real. It felt like a movie scene or something; having an argument with one of the people you love the most then finding them lying in a pool of their own blood, probably because of something you said, is the most horrible feeling in the entire world. I hate myself so fucking much. I don't hate her, I just hate arguing with her because I love her so much and it hurts when she's mad at me or when we have these big explosive arguments, but we always seem to make up afterwards. That's how we are... Or at least, how we were.

I don't even know why we argue most of the time, but it's usually because I'm being a prick or something. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do now, I mean, what if she's not coming back? What if she really did succeed this time? I'll never live with myself. I never got to tell her... I never got to tell her that I love her. Not just as a friend. I never got to tell her how much it hurts me when I see her and Ben getting closer and closer. I know that they live together and everything but I see the way he looks at her and it's like I'm looking in a mirror because it's the exact same look I have towards her. But I also see how she looks at him. She has this glint in her eyes whenever his name is mentioned, it's special- not like the look in her eyes when one of us are mentioned- it's like, the sound of his voice is like music to her ears. I remember this one time when we took her on a mini tour with us and Ben some how got a bit fucked on stage and ended up with a split eyebrow and bloody knuckles from smashing in his guitar and as soon as he came off stage her expression went from one filled with pride and happiness towards us to complete concern in the blink of an eye. She made him go to the hospital despite him insisting it wasn't needed and then looked after him the whole time they got back home. I guess that's kind of like when I saw her that night, when all if us were out having a good time and I saw her in the distance. That's how I feel towards her, I don't want anything bad to happen to her... But I guess that's too late now.

I just want to hold her and tell her how much she means to me, how I feel and how sorry I am for being the cause of all this. I'm constantly talking to her and telling her how I feel but I never get any reply, not even a flinch. It's like I'm talking to myself. I don't even know if she can hear me, but if I talk to her then she's not gone. She's still alive and I'm going to make sure it fucking stays that way.

Ben's p.o.v

Dani's been in a coma for over a month now. We put all plans for tours and anything like that on hold because we all want to be here when she wakes up. She will wake up. I honestly don't think I could live without her, I hate the idea of having to live without her. She's a massive part of my world and i love her to death. I'm not sure how though. I mean I love her because she's my beat friend, my roommate and an amazing girl, but there's a part of me that wants her more than just a friend and I know that she feels the same. I can feel it. I can feel it everytime we joke or cuddle or just be complete dicks together. She feels it too.

James has stayed with her pretty much everyday she's been in hospital and the first few weeks was hard for me because every time I saw him, I wanted to beat the shit out of him. I know how he can be when he's angry, he's like a ticking time bomb ready to explode except he has no control over the explosion. He says stuff that we all know he doesn't mean. She used to hear her crying in her room after every argument they had and is go in there, take her in my arms and we'd talk through it. She'd tell me how he'd told her to fuck off and not talk to him and id always tell her that he didn't mean it, that it was just the heat of the moment. She'd tell me how it was all her fault and sometimes she thinks it would be better if we'd never found her and every single fucking time it broke my heart. I'd pull her closer and tell her o stop being such a silly bitch.

I miss her voice so much. When I'm alone in her hospital room, I talk to her. I ask her to come back or just give us a sign that she's okay and that she won't give up on us, that she WILL come back.

"Dani, please. Jut give me a sign, anything, squeeze my hand or something. Just come back. Just wake up. I need you I wake up because I'm a complete wreck without you here. I haven't showered in weeks, mostly because I don't have your annoying ass telling me that I stink and you'll throw ice cold water on me if I don't have a shower immediately. Danny is fucked, he won't talk to anyone but me and sometimes James. Sam and Cameron are so worried that you're not gonna come back to us. They've written you a song which they'll play for you when you wake up okay? You know you want to hear it so just please wake up! James has barely left your side. He regrets everything he said. I had to try not to kill him for the first couple of weeks but we're alright now... Kind of. I've never seen him this rough. We're all pretty shit to be honest with you. Please. I love you."

No response.

I need to rest because I haven't slept properly since this all happened. I just can't relax or drift off knowing that she's stuck here rotting in that hospital bed, being suffocated by this stupid fucking coma that's starting to suffocate all of us. But I at least need to try and get an hour or two so that I can come back and be here for when she wakes up.

"You look like shit mate" I heard James' voice from the desolate door way.

"Not looking too pretty yourself princess"

"Yeah well surviving or energy drinks and alcohol for a month or so does that" he replied with a slight laugh, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

"True that. I'm just gonna go rest for a few hours but I'll be back. I'll see you later" I got up and went to leave.

James sighed and moved out of the doorway and stood over dani's bed. I couldn't just leave it like this.

"James, she's gonna wake up. Don't worry. She's not that much of a bitch that she'll give up on us without calling us twats and walking off in that 'you are such imbeciles' strut that she has" I laughed.

"I hope so mate" he replied, without taking his eyes off her still frame.

I walked over to him and gave him a hug so the atmosphere wasn't so frosty. "I love you fucker, in a bit" he smiled at my remark and nodded in response.

I just want her to wake up so this heavy silence can stop crushing our lives.

A/N- oh heeeeeu, I know I haven't updated since January and I felt so awful so I thought I'd write a short chapter to at least try and make up do it a little. Hope you liked it... If you didn't then soz :p

-Dani