Mikelwj: Dear Diary
(Eating Disorders, Anorexia)
Dear Diary
It was a long day at school today
And I haven't really eaten anything yet today
I guess that's good
I just wanted to write something down before heading off to bed
So here it goes
Dear Diary
I'm fourteen and I'm always so nervous
Tell me why is it that everybody else is so perfect
And why I feel so worthless
And why they look so happy
While lately for me my mood has been so crappy
And I have come to believe all of the things that I'm seeing
On magazines and TV of every single perfect being
All the girls with perfect bodies
And such amazing skin
Oh how I would kill to live the life that they are in
I've been trying to lose weight over the past couple weeks
Throwing up after meals on the rare times that I eat
But that isn't enough
I still need to do more
To get this guy to notice me
People wonder what for
There's so much room in my tummy
For food it isn't funny
I don't want to be people's dummy
But either way I feel dumpy
Most of the time I'm left here thinking to myself
Oh God is this worth it
Or do I need some help like
I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight
Just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me I'm worth it
I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight
Just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for someone to tell me I'm worth it
You're not alone -16x- (I wasn't going to write all 16)
I'm 23 and just ran across my old diary
I opened it up
But I really don't know what inspired me
To do this but I did
And was instantly in tears
To think of how lost I was
During those young years
And that guy that I mentioned
Back when I was 14
He's my fiancé now
I guess that I'm living a dream
We got a small house, a nice car and a good life
But my arms are still scarred
From using my own knife
He accepts me how I am
And he knows about my past
And after all of that
He still says we're going to last
And I love him
I love him
I love him with all my heart
I honestly couldn't take it
If we ever got pulled apart
If I could say one thing to me at age 14
It would be that you'll find a guy
Who will treat you like a queen
It gets better than it is
Don't you worry about your size
And never think you're alone
Someone out there hears your cries saying
I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight
Just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me I'm worth it
I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight
Just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for someone to tell me I'm worth it
You're not alone -16x-
