MikelWJ: Dear Diary (part 2)
(Anorexia, Eating Disorders)
Dear Diary...
This will be one of the last entries
That I will make for a while,
I think.
I decided that,
It's time things change,
And time I can be happy.
So I am going to start new.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Thank you for helping me.
Thank you for listening.
This road to recovery's honestly been a bitch
It took all of my will to finally make the switch
I'm 20 years of age
But my weight says I'm 10
And I feel like in my life I have not one friend
I've been hurt too much
And my trust is all gone
It's gotten to the point where I'm as frail as a fawn
All these guys are using me
Saying my beauty's true you see
But then they all abuse me and none of it is news to me
They call it anorexia
My wish to be completely perfect
I remember telling them that all I want to be is worth it
My mom was worried when I didn't have th strength to stand
Calorie counting seems to be my only helping hand
Life has me wondering why the hell am I even here?
What ever happened to the people I once held near?
I'm sick of everyone always telling me what to do
All I want is something that I can relate to
I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight
Just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell my that I'm worth it
I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight
Just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it
Does my story end here?
That's all that I wanna know
I never thought that I'd end up feeling fully alone
In my room, no ones there
I cry myself to sleep
I wish that I could love
And live and just leave
Breathe
I made it through another long day
Finding fear in the words that I didn't ever say
How can I match up to what the world says is beautiful?
I look into the mirror and the me I see is unsuitable
Tell me I'm beautiful
That's all I really wanna hear
Hold me close
And make all of the pain disappear
It's unhealthy
I know I should treat myself better
I want someone to understand me down to the letter
But mark my words
I'll be stronger than I ever was
I'll be happy with myself
And honestly I never was
I need to move on
Past this diary I've always kept
And all the pages that hold all the tears that I wept
I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight
Just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for someone to tell me that I'm worth it
I've been used by guys
I've been hurt by girls
I've been hit by my mom
And cursed by the world
So I keep losing weight
Just trying to be perfect
I'm waiting for somebody to tell me that I'm worth it
Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it! I seriously hope it helps. Eating disorders aren't fun. I should know. I was once admitted to the hospital for it.
You are all beautiful. In your own special way, you are a glowing person! Never forget that!
