My Secret Diary

Introduction of Myself

Hello everyone :) Im not giving out my name but you can call me Hailey. Why Hailey? Cos my fave models are Hailey Baldwin and Taylor Hill. Okay back to me, my name is Hailey and im a 16 year old girl.    I live in Singapore which is located in Asia. I have epilepsy since 3 years old. Nope its not the flashing lights epilepsy thing. it's more like "i have a scar in my brain which causes my disability" epilepsy. You see, when i was 3 years old, i had a high fever like it's really high. It was like 38 degrees celcius to 40 degrees celcius. Yes my mum did brought me to the hospital and the doctor said it was just a normal flu or something. so they sent me and my mum back home. That following night, i had a fit seizure. My mum raced to the nearest clinic which is just few blocks away. Her finger was between my teeth cos she was afraid that i would bite my tongue. Long story short, we've reached the hospital and the doctors said that it was a viral fever and somehow the virus went up to my brain and attacked the nerves. In result, my whole right side of my body was paralysed and i couldn't move shit. Until today, they couldn't figure out how did the virus went up to the brain. I couldn't talk clearly. My mum described me as a dead vegetable or a dead squid. i was really that weak. i couldn't eat normally. i had to be fed from a tube which they put through my nose to my stomach. i don't remember much since i was just 3 years old. What my mum told me is that the doctors said that i couldn't walk or speak normally anymore. I swear if my 16 year old self was there i would tell the doctors that they're wrong. For months i was being fed through a tube and i don't actually remember how i move around and stuff. Maybe i had a wheelchair or i just sat at the sofa? who knows. But one specific appointment with my doctor, i apparently walked from my wheelchair to open the door of the doctor's office. Believe me or not ,she cried. Along with my mother. Probably in my 3 year old head i was like "Bitch i knew i could do it". So for 13 years, i've been having epilepsy and eating medication almost every single day. I've learned how to accept myself and this disability because this will be with me for the rest of my life.

All the love.
-Hailey