Destiel One Shots

Waiting Game- Banks

((This is based on a prompt for a writing challenge on Tumblr, and it will also be posted there on best-butt-nugget. Enjoy!))

Dean has always been secretive about some things, like the porn he watched or the people he had sex with. If you knew Dean as only Sam can, you would tell me that I'm completely wrong, that he has always been at least subconsciously in your face about it. But that's not true. He hid everything he thought he needed too. He went on Busty Asian Beauties, yes, but only for show. He left magazines around and bragged about his sexual exploits with women, but always hid those with men. For as long as he could remember feeling sexual attraction, men were included in it. He knew John would disown him if he found out, so he over-exaggerated his feelings towards women.

Even when John was gone, he continued this pointless charade. He left magazines strewn about and left his computer open on porn he hadn't been watching. He feared rejection from his only true family left, so much so that it blinded him to the striking difference in stance between his brother and the man that called himself his father. So Dean hid his pansexuality from his family. He had few friends, but he hid it from those he did have, too.

He would often go out to gay bars, looking for something that he had never been able to have: a lasting relationship. He knew it couldn't happen, but he still hoped. So, he would go out to the bars any chance he got. He would spend his night trying to find someone worth more than a fun night in the back of the impala and leave for the bunker disappointed every time.

Often, men would come up to him and buy him drinks, him being as self-admittedly attractive as he is, but for some reason, tonight was different. It was much less crowded than usual, and it was early in the night, so that might have been it, Dean decided.

"Dean?" The voice came from behind him, startling him out of his thoughts. That deep, gravely voice was unmistakable. It was Castiel, the angel that had saved him so many times.

"Cas? What the hell are you doing here?" Dean was obviously in shock, having turned around to witness his "school girl crush" standing behind him.

"I could ask you the same thing, Dean. What are you doing in a gay bar? Sam was trying to find you to tell us about a case." There was no hint of malice in his voice, only slight confusion at why he wasn't in the bunker.

"It doesn't matter why I'm here, let's just go." Dean began to move to pay for the drinks and pull on his leather jacket, but Castiel stopped him with a touch to the shoulder. "What Cas? What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you that I'm pan? Do you want me to tell you that I've been in love with you for years but couldn't bear to say or do anything because I'm so terrified of coming out of the closet that I stop breathing anytime I see anyone that looks even a little like either of you come anywhere near here? Do you want me to tell you that I fuck guys on the regular? Or that it's never enough for me? Do you want me to tell you that I hate myself because Dad made me believe this was anything but normal? Is that what you want me to tell you?" By the end of his short tirade, Dean was shouting so that most of the people in the bar could hear him. "Let's go, Cas." This time, he didn't wait for Castiel to be able to stop him, and he practically ran out of the bar.

Castiel hurried out of the bar behind him, being careful not to bump into anyone of the gawkers they had left in their wake. By the time he made his way outside, the Impala was just pulling out of the dingy parking lot.

"What was that back there Dean? Please, talk to me about it. What did you mean you were in love with me?" Castiel's voice was infused with concern, but that fact was completely lost on Dean, whose entire being was shifted stiffly towards the road, his legs and arms stiff, his eyes never once flickering towards the passenger side of the car.