Metal Heart [ Jikook ]

Chapter 15

Not thinking wasn't a great idea. It got him through the night, but the next day, he was a wreck again; Jungkook completely forgot about a book report he had to do and didn't even remember to turn on his alarm, which meant sleeping in too late to even consider rushing in hopes of getting to school on time. He ended up turning his phone off completely about an hour after he'd woken up, because he kept getting calls. Taehyung. Hoseok. Seokjin. He expected Taehyung and Seokjin's. He didn't know why Hoseok was calling.

(He was almost curious enough to pick up.)

Jungkook couldn't avoid thinking when he walked into the kitchen and wondered what he even had to make for breakfast. Should he try to make eggs? Should he have cereal? But he was out of cereal-- should he go and get some? But I'd have to shower and I don't want to stand long enough to shower. Jungkook collapsed on the first chair at his island, slumping down against the counter in defeat. His head began to spin, and his thoughts began to race, and his tears began to spring. He hated this. He didn't know what to think and what not to think. Seokjin made him love because he couldn't give him love himself; and Jungkook fell for it.

Jungkook wished he could just turn off those specific thoughts-- let it go and move on, but there was so much to think about. What had he been thinking-- falling in love with a robot? Why had he been so damn carefree about it? He was never that carefree about anything, especially not other people. It took so much longer for him to warm up to Hoseok as a friend, and he didn't think they were even at that point yet.

Maybe it was the fact that he wasn't real, Jungkook thought. Maybe it was the fact that Jimin was made only to love him-- him and only him, which meant no betrayal. Jungkook had control. Jimin was someone-- something that Jungkook could control.

(That didn't make sense. Jungkook wasn't controlling. He was dependant.) Jungkook needed to lay back down; he was tired.

Jungkook stood, but he didn't make it two steps before there was a soft, soft knock at his door. He almost ignored it, and he almost went right back to his room, but he figured living in his dreams might not be a good idea. Maybe it was Taehyung. Maybe it was Hoseok. Maybe it was both of them. Maybe it was Seokjin.

Jungkook was not expecting Jimin.

"Kookie!" Jimin said, and he swooped Jungkook up in a hug-- a tight, tight hug, with arms Jungkook had missed so much, and a metal heart beating against his chest that Jungkook wished he would have never lost. Jungkook broke down three seconds later, crying into Jimin's shoulder. Jimin seemed shocked at the tears, and he pulled back, soft fingers against Jungkook's cheek. Why did he feel so real? Why did he have to be so real?

"Jimin, I--" Jungkook couldn't breathe for a second. He didn't know whether to be happy or sad, to be angry or excited, to be confused or thankful. Eventually, his negative emotions got the best of him, and he stepped out of Jimin's arms, pushing him back towards the door, "Don't. Don't, go back to Seokjin-- please, go back to Jin-hyung."

"Oh, but I can't, Kookie! He fixed me, and he sent me here all for you!" Jimin said, opening his arms again-- and Jungkook was tempted; he was so tempted. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he knew Jimin didn't do anything wrong. But then, right there, right next to that thought, Jungkook knew Jimin was just a product of Seokjin-- he was Seokjin. Jungkook was in the same room as Seokjin right now-- and Jungkook didn't know what to do.

"He didn't come with you?" Jungkook decided to ask; he needed a moment to think, but he also missed Jimin's voice-- "No, he said he didn't feel good. He needed to go and get some rest-- so he sent me here all by myself! He trusted me not to get lost. I always know where you are, Kookie-- I'm always in your heart, remember?"

"Yeah." Jungkook said in a hollow voice. Jimin frowned. He stepped forward; Jungkook stepped back.

"Why is he sick? Didn't he eat last night?" Jungkook asked Jimin he could bring up his worry. Jimin didn't seem to want to answer, but he'd always been so innocent, so oblivious to pain and hurt when something masked it, "No, he ate. He just didn't get to sleep-- he spent all night working on me! He's very tired."

"All night." Jungkook echoed. He looked at Jimin, finally, but still tried to avoid his eyes, "Jimin. Did you know that, when Seokjin made you, he made you from himself? Did you know that-- that you're Seokjin?"

"I'm not Jin. I just have his memories." Jimin said, explained. "He just wanted me to love you, Kookie, and to know lots about you. It's not like I know about his childhood or anything. He just gave me lots of you."

"Only me?" Jungkook asked, and he frowned again, "How did he do that?"

Jimin shrugged, "I'd be able to tell you if he gave me the scientific part of his brain, but I have no idea. Maybe he gave me his heart."

"He'd be dead if he gave you his heart." Jungkook muttered, looking down at his fingers, and he thought Jimin might not hear, but he forgot about the hearing-- how Jimin had better hearing than the average person, "Maybe. But he would do it, you know-- if it meant someone loved you, he'd give his heart."

"Why doesn't he love me?" Jungkook asked, looking up again-- and this time, he didn't avoid Jimin's gaze. "I mean... he loves me, right? Why did he have to make you? Why-- I don't understand why."

Jimin shrugged, "He told me I was better for you."

"How would he know? He didn't even try to..." Jungkook cut himself off, "Listen, Jimin, I-- I can't... do this, okay? I can't, so you need to go back to Jin-hyung."

"But I can't go back to Jin-hyung. He doesn't want me anymore." Jimin said, a hint of sadness in his voice. He wore a pout; Jungkook wore a frown, "Doesn't want you? Did he say that?"

Jimin nodded, "He seemed upset at me. I think he's tired, but I don't want to go back and wake him up. So I need to stay with you."

"Upset at you?" Jungkook asked, and then he laughed, "No. He's angry at himself."

Jimin was silent. He could tell Jungkook was angry, and the last thing he wanted to do, surely, was aggravate him more. But Jungkook was so angry-- he was so angry, because he told Seokjin he didn't have to fix Jimin, which very heavily implied that Jungkook didn't want Jimin back. But Seokjin had fixed him anyway, and he had hurt the robot's feelings, and he sent him back to Jungkook anyway, left him with practically no moral choice but to keep him. And Jungkook hated him. For a few heated minutes, Jungkook hated Seokjin, and he hated Jimin, too. But he couldn't kick Jimin away, and, really, Jimin was just a victim, too. He was helpless and he shouldn't have been caught in the middle of everything Jungkook and Seokjin but he was.

But Jungkook couldn't deny how soft his heart still went for that stupid, stupid robot.

Jungkook didn't know what to say, so he held out his arms. Jimin seemed content-- more than content, really. He seemed happy-- ecstatic, and he ran to Jungkook, falling into his arms. And when Jimin's arms-- warm, alive-- had looped around him, Jungkook felt content, too.

/

A/N: What is Abby doing? Why is this so short? I don't know anymore. I love you guys; I'm surprised you guys have stuck this out with me omfg

Fun fact: Next chapter will be longer, probably fit with the story better, and will hopefully be posted before another three months passes