Metal Heart [ Jikook ]

Chapter 16

How did you do this? How could you do this? Seokjin knew he'd messed up. He should have kept quiet; he should have kept Jungkook. He shouldn't have done this. He should have confessed, but he couldn't do that. Not when he kept forgetting--

Seokjin paced around in front of Jimin, who had yet to open his eyes. It was his heart. It was his heart and all Seokjin had to do was fix it. All he had to do was trap the memories and fix his heart. That's it-- that's all. But Jungkook didn't want him. Jungkook didn't want Jimin, and Jungkook didn't want Seokjin. Seokjin never thought it would turn out like this. He thought, maybe-- just maybe-- if Jungkook ever figured it out, he might accept Seokjin's feelings. He might return them. But then what? What about Jimin? Seokjin couldn't just destroy him.

Seokjin dug a hole and jumped right in; this was all his fault. What the hell had he been thinking?

Seokjin stopped pacing in front of the empty body of Min Yoongi. Min Yoongi had been quick work. His body was easy to build, his brain easy to form. He was a copy and paste of Jimin, with a slightly different body structure and a slightly different way of thinking. The only huge difference was the face, and the hair color; Min Yoongi looked nothing like Park Jimin, and his hair was black, not red. The longest thing to make was the heart-- the heart and the memories.

Seokjin didn't have enough to make a heart.

The materials he'd been provided with were from his company, and he wouldn't get those materials again for years-- years and years and years and Seokjin didn't think he had years and years and years. Seokjin had wasted and formed and used so many materials he'd been given for experimenting-- for making Park Jimin and then making Min Yoongi, and here he was, with Min Yoongi's open chest begging to be filled and a broken heart of Park Jimin that was begging to be fixed.

Jungkook didn't want Jimin back. Could Seokjin take Jimin's heart? Change the memories and maybe... maybe Yoongi could love Seokjin.

But, oh, fuck it-- Seokjin didn't want love. He didn't want an artificial love from an artificial being, no matter how real it looked or felt. And Seokjin wished he had put himself in Jungkook's shoes, in the situation, and had thought about this before he programmed Jimin to love Jungkook. Even if it was real-- so, so close to being real-- it didn't matter. It was Seokjin's love and Seokjin had filtered it through another being. Seokjin wouldn't treat Jungkook the way Jimin did. Jimin was better, but he wasn't real, and Seokjin wondered why he was just now realizing it.

Seokjin began to pace again, trying to avoid the silver heart in Jimin's chest. It just needed to be fixed. It just needed to be fixed-- fixed, fixed, fixed. That's all Seokjin had to do-- fix it. But Jungkook didn't want Jimin, but Seokjin thought he must have, because Jimin loved him and Jungkook loved Jimin and Jungkook was angry with Seokjin, not Jimin-- but Jimin was Seokjin in a purer form, and Seokjin stopped pacing again to collapse between the two dead robots and cry.

Seokjin felt destroyed. He felt like he'd destroyed himself and he felt like he'd destroyed Jungkook. He felt awful, and he felt like throwing up. He felt heavy and he felt alone. Lonely, lonely; he'd never felt so alone in his damn life.

For an hour, Seokjin sat on the floor and thought about how alone he felt, how lonely he was now that Jungkook was angry at him, and he finally stood up, rubbing his eyes; he'd made his decision. He took Jimin's heart, and he worked quick. He repaired the faults he'd forgotten to work out, and when it was finished, he stared. He had a faint thought of changing the memories-- that was easy, easy, just suck out the old ones and put in new ones, but nobody loved Seokjin and Seokjin couldn't make memories out of thin air. Not like like this-- not without years and years of work.