Spirited

Chapter 4

I felt the blood drain from my face and then it flood with colour and heat. I didn’t need to say anything, everyone, including the crew who were now snorting and doubled over with laughter, already knew it was me. I couldn’t just walk off the set which was one of my options, so I had to stay and brazen it out. Thank God this programme was aimed at adults.

‘Well, Lorcan, that would entirely depend on how you would establish the reaction, whether there was a scientific instrument accurate enough to measure any minute changes, and how often it could be repeated. After all, if there’s too long a gap between . . . reactions, then you can’t include it as part of a single cause and effect response. Too many other factors might creep in which could put a . . . premature end to the experiment.’

The crew were stuffing handkerchiefs and fists into their mouths to stop their laughter being transmitted, but still the odd snigger would escape.

Lorcan’s face went from smug pleasure at my embarrassment to the sudden realisation that I’d just turned the tables on him. I waited patiently for his response.

Finlay was counting down to the next VT when Lorcan suddenly grinned. ‘Well, there appears to be a lot of evidence gathering that needs to be done. Viewers, we may, or may not, keep you updated on the results,’ and he grinned suggestively at the camera.

The camera panned to me. ‘Thank you, Lorcan. And now here’s a short film about how some famous scientists controlled their experiments,’ and I fixed the smile on my face until Finlay signalled the VT was rolling.

Lorcan was already leaning away from me, waiting for the abuse he was assuming I would be throwing his way. But I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction and merely walked over to Finlay to confirm how he wanted me to lead in to the following night’s live programme after the VT.

I had every intention of avoiding Lorcan the next day apart from when we were filming. Especially after I responded to Faith’s message to call her urgently so that she could tell me that the overnight ratings were looking excellent, and that twitter was awash with comments on Lorcan’s antics. Or low blow, as I was thinking of it. The clip was already on YouTube, and the hit rate on it was accelerating by the hour.

‘It was brilliant, Lisa. Brilliant. And you handled it, well, brilliantly!’

‘Thanks Faith. I’m glad my humiliation on live TV was so entertaining.’

‘But it was. I really felt for you, especially as I knew it was the truth.’

‘Thanks again, Faith.’

‘But your response was brilliant.’ Brilliant appeared to be Faith’s favourite word of the moment. ‘I am so looking forward to tonight’s programme. Everyone is phoning me up to talk to me about it. Probably because they can’t talk to you.’

The barbed comment was regarding my absolute refusal to take calls on my mobile. Texts were fine, I would check those, but in my own time. And if people wanted to leave me a message, that was also fine, I would phone them back and they could chose to take the call. Or not. Their choice.

I was very excited when the techie guys arrived. Geoff was a big bear of a man, and enveloped me in a hug as soon as he had parked up the van. We had worked together on “Busted” and I was looking forward to being with him again. But his trainee was new to me. He carefully climbed down from the passenger side looking exceedingly wan and a little sweaty. He shook my hand and introduced himself as Kenny.

‘Not a good traveller,’ Geoff said, nodding in Kenny’s direction.

‘Can I get you some water? Coffee?’ I asked, concerned.