The Suicide Letters

The Seventh Letter

I left a mess from the school. It was a weird ending to such a crazy fight, I'll admit. If Kat wasn't my ride home from school I would have stayed and talked to him. I mean, he probably thinks I'm crazy now after I sat there and basically cried for ten minutes. It's not my fault, really. Blame it on my past.

I'll have to settle for writing him a letter, I guess. And then give it to him tomorrow at school.

Kat drops me off at home and then leaves again to go out with her friends, and I run upstairs and get on my laptop.

Levi,

Hey, so I'm just sort of writing this because we didn't really get to finish talking or anything. I'm sorry if I crossed a line somewhere along the way, I am. I never wanted to come across pushy or insane. I just wanted to make sure you were going to make it out of the school year alive.

I don't know if anything I said meant anything to you. I hope it did.

I hope you understand why I seemed so crazy and so paranoid about you being obsessed with death and everything. I just don't want the world to lose you, Levi.

I just wanted to let you know that I care. A lot. I don't want you to die, and it isn't just because I'm a freak about death. You're a great person, and I actually like writing letters to you (besides when we're yelling at each other in parking lots over them). You're smart and gramatically correct (bonus points!) and you didn't think that I was crazy because I like talking to my cat. You ate your words and even apologized to me after you realized I wasn't a spoiled brat, and I appreciated that a lot. You're really good with words and funny on paper. You've got the greenest eyes of anyone I've ever met in my life. 

Yeah, you broke my pen the first day I sat next to you, and you sort of scared the crap out of me in the beginning, but I think that's all a facade. You're actually pretty nice, Levi.

Anyway, yeah.

I think that's it.

See you tomorrow.

~Melody 

I finish it, and then minimize the window before going on Facebook to poke around. Somehow after a few minutes, I wind up on his page. It's still the same as when I last saw it. Black profile picture, basically no new anything.

Except for one thing.

He has one new status.

"Goodbye" 

That's it.

It was posted four minutes ago.

Four minutes. Long enough to swallow a handful of pills. Long enough to stick a gun in your mouth. Long enough to slit both of your wrists. Long enough the drink drain cleaner.

"No, no no no no," I chant as I quickly hit the message button and message him "Are you okay??" My hands are shaking, my world is spinning. I thought after today, he wouldn't. I thought there was no way. 

I was wrong.

Three minutes go by. Nothing. No response. I'm stuck staring at a blank screen. I can do nothing.

Until I remember, that I can.

Words.

I quickly pull up my letter, copy it and paste it into the message box and send it to him. I miss the send button the first time because my hands are shaking so badly and I can't really see what I'm doing anymore.