Safe (Rewritten)

Near to You

# Near to You # 

"Near to you, I am healing,

But it's taking so long. 

And though he's gone, 

And you are wonderful, 

It's hard to move on." 

- A Fine Frenzy "Near to You"

Ella skips ahead of me in the mall, her toothpick legs emphasized by her body hugging black tights. She glances over her shoulder at me. "C'mon, Paige. We have to hurry!"

I shake my head, but move my legs a bit quicker nonetheless. Ella is a difficult shopper, which I've learned in the past two hours of shopping with her. We've stopped at Sephora, Hot Topic, and few other stores. After a brief break in the food court, we're about to wrap up.

Ella has bought more stuff than I have; no surprise, considering the black card she's been handing to the cashiers. When she saw the look I was trying to hold back, she just sighed. "I can't help it. Besides, I never use the card for me."

Even now, nearly two hours later, I feel horrible. I'm more than aware that Ella isn't a spoiled socialite who relies on her father's money. I just keep solidifying my outcast reputation.

"Ooh," Ella jumps up and down, all dozen or so shopping bags moving with her. "We have to stop at Victoria's Secret. I'm sure that'll take care of everyone," she gives me a sneaky grin. "Plus ourselves."

I honestly can't remember the last time I stepped into Victoria's Secret. Probably when I started growing at around thirteen. Now, armed with my own savings account and a new best friend, I step into the shop and am almost immediately attacked by workers.

"How may we help you?" A broad shouldered woman with thick, wavy brown hair asks. I glance helplessly at Ella, who just shrugs.

"Uh, I just want to look around," Sure. I really don't know *why* I decided to follow Ella in here. I look around the store, scoffing at the flawless promoting to love your body. For maybe twenty minutes, I walk around blindly. Then, the magical moment happened.

I've never really cared about my bras. Black, beige, white, and the odd polka dotted one were always good enough. But I liked the idea of wearing the almost-racy black bra with embellishments and a bow. I had grabbed my size and was ready to find Ella when I see the price tag.

Let's just say that I could do a lot with the seventy odd dollars.

Ella appears just as I'm putting the bra back. She cocks a brow at me. "You should get that."

I shrug, playing it off like it's no big deal. "Too much money for a bra."

"Honey, you can never pay too much for a bra. Unless you're paying fifty for a Target bra that says it'll add two cups but doesn't," she looks at her chest sadly. "Then you've been screwed over and you deserve to find that son of a bitch who created the devil bra and-"

"Ella!" I laugh. "Shh. It's just a bra, okay? I don't even need it."

She gives me another disbelieving glance and tells me to go and check out for her. I sigh, toting the pile of bras and underwear, as well as the credit card. It's the same size as any other credit card, but it feels like it weighs ten tons in my hand. How can Ella possibly walk around with all this money all the time? Doesn't it bother her?

The cashier gives me a quizzical look, clearing seeing that I am *not* an A cup. I ignore her, swiping the credit card and jotting the number that Ella drilled into my mind.