Safe (Rewritten)

Empty Space

"You've done enough,

He's still alive.

And he's breathing on his own."

- Air Traffic, "Empty Space"

Madison is silent as she drives, but her hands are shaking.

Maybe telling her wasn't the brightest idea I've had in a while, but still. I don't feel relieved like everyone says I should. I thought that getting the monster of all secrets off my chest would make me feel something other than the tight knot of nerves in my stomach.

"When?"

I stare down at my fingers. "Two years ago."

"Where?"

"Where do you think?" I snap. Oops. There it is, that thing that's wrong with me. Well, one of the things I guess.

"Paige, please. I'm trying to get enough out of you to file a damn report. Two years? You haven't done anything against that sicko for *two fucking years?*" Madison hits the steering wheel. "Are you that stupid?"

"Maybe this is why I never told you," I mutter, turning to glare out the window.

"Paige, we're going home and you're going to tell your dad, okay?"

I don't respond.

"Okay?" She repeats. Madison isn't the easiest person to make angry. I should get some kind of prize for pushing her this far.

When I still don't say anything, she gives up. "You know, I really miss when you never shut up."

When we get back home, I immediately run for my room. Madison calls my name, but I ignore her. There's nothing left to say.

I come down for dinner, but pick at my food. My appetite is nonexistent. Mom and Dad look at Madison for answers, but to my relief, she doesn't say anything. Her eyes are hard, but that's a small price to pay to keep her from telling them.

"Paige, can I talk to you for a moment?" Mom asks after dinner. I'm at the base of the stairs, ready to bolt. Did Madison spill?

"Sure," I step back slowly.

"I know this may not be the best time for this conversation," Oh no. Oh, fuck. She must have told them. I bet Dad's going to pull me aside next. "And it might not be my business, but. . . I wish you'd give Eric a chance."

I blink. "What?"

Mom sighs. "Well, it's just that everyone can see how things are with you guys. He deserves a chance, don't you think?"

Eric deserves the world, but a chance with me isn't in that world. I suck as a human. I'd be worse as a girlfriend. "This is about Eric?"

"Just think about it." She pats my arm. That's that.

I go to bed confused. Madison didn't tell them, and I could see just how much she'd wanted to. I guess, in some odd way, I'd wanted her to tell them. For a fleeting second, I wanted this all off my chest.

I don't dream about Lucas.

"And it's so stupid," Ella sighs, waving the remote at the TV. "No self-respecting woman would suddenly jump a guy just because he's hot."

We're watching some cruddy Lifetime movie, and it's pretty obvious that it's not her cup of tea. "Maybe she thought pretty hard about it."

"Please." She crosses her arms. "She just attacked him."

I laugh. "You're right. It's not realistic."

The doorbell sounds. Ella raises an eyebrow and is up before I can tell her not to. I hear the door open, and Ella's excited, "Hello Guitar Boy!" reaches my ears.