A book about everything

5

A/N: there's sooo much freaking homework... and it's only the second week of school! I absolutely hate hate hate it. but overall, it's been a good week, and I also just had  my first piano lesson on thursday. oh, and comment the word 'flower' if you read all the way through. uhm... oh yeah, next week, we have another 'c' day on thursday, where we basically do nothing but play, and we also have to go swimming. 

People, I'm on my freaking period. I ain't gonna be swimming when I'm on my period. But I can't really do anything else, because otherwise, we're gonna be doing other 'activities' in the main area with teachers. 

okay bye

oh and play the song while you're reading this. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: cancer

I'm weak. 

They say that those who fight this...

disease, 

this cancer, 

are strong. 

Ha.

It is something that makes people fragile, 

slow, 

powerless, 

it makes you just want to end it all,

and close your eyes, 

because you never want to experience this again. 

This what, you ask?

Everything. 

Everyday,

it's a repeat. 

Everyday, 

you'll wake up, 

afraid that today,

might be your last. 

Families are teary-eyed,

with sad expressions, 

and you want to comfort them, 

but when you open your mouth, 

to talk,

to say anything,

to comfort them, 

you see the fear in their eyes. 

You see the pain, 

the agony. 

That dull, glassy look. 

And it hurts. 

It hurts to live. 

It hurts to breathe.

But somehow, 

we make it through, everyday,

supported by thousands of IV's

supported by chemo, 

undergoing surgery to remove, 

these lumps of cancer in our bodies.

My hair is gone, 

disappearing, 

as if they wouldn't want anything to do, 

with me. 

I wouldn't. 

There's nothing left of me. 

I'm a shadow of what I was before. 

What is the point of this?

My life is fading out of me,

and everything is spent,

gone away, 

just like the millions of lives of those who lived before me. 

'Don't say that'  you say, 

'You're not going to die...

stop being so selfish'

Me?

I'm the one that's dying, 

I'm the one who has to go, 

I'm the one who has limited days to be with you, 

I'm the one who lives through each day, 

knowing that

I'll never have a marry the one I love, 

that I'll never get to have a family of my own, 

that I'll never get to have a first kiss, 

that I'll never get to do anything...

because I'll be six feet under, 

cold and dead, 

hands folded together, 

eyes closed, 

never to breathe again. 

So don't say that I'm the one that's being selfish...

I'm dying.

I'm weak. 

I'm selfish. 

I'm sorry if I am. 

'cause the hardest part of this, 

is leaving you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lol idk what happened at the end... I guess I just kinda slacked off. 

kk bye now!

esther