Fleeting Thoughts

3

-The remains-

Wanting, wanting you. But I cant. Wanting to hate you. But I cant. Its amazing how many thoughts swim with a source that didnt start with you, but somehow always end with you. Like a ghost, the memories and you alone possess my mind. Scared, eruption of sickness. I dont know why I feel this way anymore. I dont know why I let myself get stabbed. Im addicted, like a smoker to their cigarettes. Its so bad for me, but it feel so good. I just cant seem to put this cigarette out. Crawling back to you. My friends try to make me quit you, but I cant resist you. This isnt good for me, constantly depressed of memories that come to life in random times taking over my emotions. Im smiling from how much I loved...love you,  but then im fading because you dont. Cant. Wont. Its not just that, I get anxiety just allowing you into my thoughts. I want to breath. I want to live. But without you? I dont know anymore. I will let go...soon? I dont know. I dont know much, if not all only some.