e + g.d imagines

the letter [e]

{the song is optional, it just helps me when i'm writing}

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y/n;

i can hear your laugh, it's ringing through the hallways

i ran my hand across the wall and pressed my lips together, holding back my tears. the memories still remained here. the way we both busted out laughing when acting like models on the runway. his laugh was the most symphonic noise that i had ever heard.

i can see your smile, it's what gets me through my hard days.

leaning against the doorframe, i admired the picture hanging above the bed. it was of ethan and i at his family reunion last year. i was sitting in between his legs on the picnic blanket, looking up at him. we both had the biggest smiles on our faces. lisa happened to snap a picture of the moment on her camera.

and your words were supposed to get me through my heartache, before my heartbreak.

"hell, you think it's okay to just completely ignore me? or blow me off? i give you everything you could possibly want. my time, attention, money. everything! all you care about it showing me off like some toy, just begging for attention. i don't need you anymore and you obviously don't need me."

his words were like daggers in my face. every sentence ripped me apart piece by piece. although, i stood silent, not wanting to anger him more. who knew what else he would confess about me. is this really how he feels?

there's any emptiness, that only a few ever feel; and i somehow missed the meaning of love that is real; and it compliments my scars that will never heal.

i rested my head against the bed and stared at the wall. it was empty just like my heart, crying out for something... someone. his words replayed through my mind over and over again.

'hell, you think it's okay to completely ignore me?'

'all you care about is showing me off like some toy, just begging for attention.'

'i don't need you anymore and obviously you don't need me.'

i don't need you anymore.

maybe i didn't deserve you. maybe i just couldn't cure you. the told me that i didn't hurt you.

i stepped out on the red carpet, ready for flashing cameras and constant demands. i was instantly bombarded with questions and remarks about ethan.

"how have you been since the break up?"

"who broke up with who?"

"we saw ethan with another girl tonight, he's clearly moved on. have you?"

wait, what?

my heart instantly shattered into pieces again. i acted as if i were moving a piece of hair out of my fave, wiping the tear that brimmed my left eye.

eventually, i reached the end of the carpet and was immediately taking into the venue. i let out a sigh as my manager approached me with a sympathetic expression. she apologized for their questions.

i brushed it off and glanced through the room, automatically spotting ethan. he was with another girl, and she was most certainly beautiful. her hair was pinned up and she had the cutest tan.

ethan laughed and looked to his right, noticing me staring. i darted my eyes over to the stage but i knew that he was still looking at me. for the millionth time tonight, my heart sunk into my stomach.

i miss him.

maybe i don't understand it. tell me is this how you planned it? did you see us so stranded? maybe i'm too much to manage.

the night went on and coincidently, i was seated behind ethan. it took everything out of me not to talk to him. all i wanted was to feel his warm embrace once again.

but the only thing i could bring myself to do was stare at his mop of dark curls. the curls that i used to braid late at night when he would lay of top of me, playing video games.

the award show went on commercial break. this was my chance. you can do it, y/n. just talk to him.

i arose from my seat and shuffled down the aisle, making my way (downtown, walking fast, faces pass and i'm home bound) to their group. grayson noticed me first and smiled, standing up to greet me. i accepted his hug and associated with him until ethan was done with his current conversation.

"y/n?" i heard from behind me.

i turned around and came face to face with him. he had definitely matured more - looks wise - over the past five months. his hair had grown and he now had a purple strip in it. i couldn't see it with my eyes but from his suit, you could tell that he had gained muscle.

"hi." i breathed out. "ho-how have you been?"

he shrugged and licked his lips. "okay, i guess. i see you've been doing good. congrats on your new album!"

there it was; the smile that i so dearly missed. i used to be the reason for that gorgeous grin of his. not anymore.

"thank you, it all came from the heart and i'm hoping the people see it that way too." i prayed that he didn't bring up any of he songs. some of them were clearly about him and our relationship.

i noticed his eyes flicker between the crowd and me. he leaned his head in a slight bit and lowered his voice. "we weren't stranded and you were not too much to manage. you and i both know that our relationship was no longer healthy for either of us."

my breath hitched and i bit my lip. then my mind went off about the girl he was with. is it his girlfriend? best friend? friend? acquaintance?

"she's is one of cameron's friend. she thought it would be nice for me to at least coexist with other girls for once." ethan chuckled, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

the lights came back on and the cameras began rolling again. i quickly said my goodbyes to the boys and headed off to my seat.

"i love you." i heard him whisper.

i stopped in my tracks and waited for another response but there was nothing. just the theme music for the night.

"ma'am, we need you to take you seat, please."

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a/n: okay this didn't turn out how i wanted it to.