Amanda pov|
"I don't want to go to this place" I crossed my arms looking out the window "Amanda you need to" "mom I do not fucking belong at this place, I don't care what anyone says" the car goes silent. I kept my gaze out the window while we rolled up to the hospital "Amanda where are your blades" my mom questions "what blades" I say stupidly "Amanda don't play dumb!" She shouts "in my pocket" I mumble inaudibly "where?" She asks "I said in my drawer!" I yell "they better be, I'm flushing them" she says and I roll my eyes. I'm putting the hood up on my jacket. I've been diagnosed with anxiety, and depression to name the major mental shit I have going on in my head. "Did you grab your medication?" My mom asks, I shake my head "why so many questions" I scoff. "Amanda quit it with the additude" I bring my hand to my lips pretending to lock them shut and throw away the key. I shake my head "no" I mumble, and she sighs. My mom pulls into the parking lot. Stoping at the front of the building "they're expecting you" she smiles. I give a fake smile opening my door, she hands me my medical cards an information and some other paperwork I can't tell the difference between. She kisses my cheek "I love you" she says "then you wouldn't force me into this fucking place" I mumble kicking a piece of cement that wore off the ground over time "honey this is to help you" "yeah whatever" I say walking into the building. Met with complete silence. The familiar scent fills my nose as I walk up to the lady at the desk. My footsteps being Heard from miles away as I do so. "Hello" I say grasping her attention "oh hello!" She says a bit to excitedly for my liking. I give a smile "what are you here for today?" She asks "checking in" I mumble "Amanda Jackson" I say shortly after "oh we've been waiting!" She says smiling "mhm" I nod "hmm so it looks like your last stay was around a month ago, I'll fill you in for this stay and you can head up the stairs to floor 3 and there will be someone at the desk to show you your room" she nods "do I give these to you?" I ask handing her the paperwork and she takes them from my grasp "yes thank you" she smiles "no problem" I say heading towards the door leading to the stairs. I touch the white walls as I climb up the stairs "floor two" the door reads as I look up and I keep going "floor three" I say outloud I push the double doors open and my gaze is met with the man at the desk "hello and you are?" He asks politely "Amanda Jackson" I say and he nods "right this way" he says like a waitor and I chuckle a bit. He leads me to what's going to be my room for who knows how long and opens the door "welcome" he smiles and I silently thank him "I need you to look some of these things over and fill out some things and there's also some things in here for you to keep" he smiles handing me a bag "thank you" I say and he shuts the door leaving me alone between four walls, an empty room. Nothing but a bed. A chair and a desk lies apon it's cold cement floor. I place the bag the man gave me onto the desk and I lay in bed facing the ceiling. I must have drifted to sleep because I am awoken by the dreaded lunch bell I groan crawling out of the rock hard bed. I rub my eyes peaking out the hall door. I shiver, rubbing my arms to relieve my gosebumps. And slowly open the door to be greeted by around 20 girls and boys around my age. All here for so called similar reasons. All eyes are on me as I walk to join the crowd. We get escorted to the lunch area and today being served is pizza I shrug walking up to the counter not really feeling hungry at the moment. I sit down at a table and some randoms come sit near me keeping their distance. I stare at the plate of food keeping my gaze down "your gonna get points taken off" I boy snaps "hm?" I ask looking up "are you anorexic or bulimic?" He asks an I shake my head "oh. Well than you wouldn't know but. If you don't eat you get points taken off" he says and I scoff taking a dredded bite out of the cardboard pizza being served and I shrug "tastes like cardboard" I say with a straight face causing some laughter and I give them a puzzled look "it does" I say looking up shrugging "why do you have a paper gown?" I asked the boy softly noticing his paper gown "i tried to hand myself with my pants" he stated and my eyes go wide "o-oh" I stutter and he nods "I'm sorry" I say and he shrugs "it's alright, I don't really care" he chuckles "I'm Wesley" he holds out his hand "Amanda" I say holding out my hand and he shakes it. We exchange small talk over lunch untill we are dismissed. I head back to my cell and sit on my bed just thinking for awhile. Time ticks by and I get a knock on my door startling me I turn towards the door and the big white door slowly creeks open revealing a tall boy who seemed to be a little older than me "hello" he smiles sweetly "Amanda?" He asks and I nod. I give him a puzzled look "I'm here from 1:00-2:00 roughly and everyday" he smiles "you weren't told?" He asks and I shake my head. He points to the paper work "it was probably in there" he says referring to the stack of papers and I shrug "didn't read it" he chuckles shaking his head. "So" he says sitting at the chair next to my bed "do you know why your here?" He asks. I nod looking up. I notice his complexion. He has semi long hair and a birthmark on his cheek. Accompanied by hazel eyes and a structured face. He's pretty cute I think but quickly snap out of it and my gaze meets his eyes an he smiles. "I'm Ethan" he says "Amanda" I mumble "Why do you think your here " he asks me again and I look away from his stare "I'm crazy" and he shakes his head "that's not true" he says causing me to look up "I'm in an asylum... It's a phycotic ward. Phycotic means crazy. Therefore I am crazy" "Amanda your not crazy. You just think differently" "bull shit Ethan. Don't deny it" I spat and he looks taken back. "I'm sorry" I say and he shakes his head "don't be"
Chapter 1 is complete :) <3
