Psychotic e.d

II

"This is my job" Ethan says and I nod "I'm here for you, whenever you need me I will be here" he smiles "thank you" I look up "but I won't be needing you so, if you don't mind you can leave now" I say getting up and gesturing towards the door "sorry Amanda but I can't leave here untill 2:00, your stuck" he winks, I groan. "Amanda I need you to talk to me" "what do you want me to talk about. Don't expect me to just talk when I don't even know what the fuck want to hear. He chuckles "damn your stubborn huh?" He says looking up at me "I guess you could say that" I say flat faced. "So, I was told you haven't been taking your medication" he says bringing attention to the dredded topic "I don't need that shit, I don't need to be here!" I shout. "Hey, hey, it's okay" he says touching my shoulder lightly "okay?" He asks and I nod. His touch is gentle, and very calming. "Amanda I need you to take your medication so we can get you out of here, you need to get a certian amount of points weekly for a certian amount of times in order for you to be able to get out of this hell hole. I know it sucks here. I know you don't want to take your medication but you being stubborn and not doing the things you ask is only gonna cause you to stay here for longer" he says looking me in the eyes "I don't fucking care where I am, here sucks, home sucks, I suck, my whole life fucking sucks and I have no where to go" "hey chill with the language" he says "don't fucking tell me what to do" I say sternly "Amanda. This place really isn't that bad. There's other kids here who want to get out just as bad as you, socialize!" He says "id rather not" "in here to help you, I want to help you" he says an I can tell that he seems like he genuinely cares "why do you care? No one else does. It's my life" "I want success for you, okay?" And I shake my head laughing "why would you, why would you care" I say looking up "I do Amanda, and you will see that. We have 5 minutes left in our session but I need you to do something for me" i look up "I need you to write" I roll my eyes "Amanda please, it helps. Write about your day. About anything or about your improvements or whatever it doesn't matter just write your little heart out" he chuckles and I shrug "alright" I say "okay well I got to go, my shifts over" he smiles "bye" he says "hey wait" I say, he looks back "I-I I'm sorry" I say and he shakes his head "it's okay" he smiles "goodbye Amanda" "bye Ethan" and he shuts the door. I gaze at the paperwork on my desk. Deciding weather I should complete it or not. I sigh "mindswell I don't feel like staying here for any longer than I have to" I say as I drag myself up and over to the desk I sit down and to my right I see a card that i don't remember being there. I stare at it for a moment before I pick it up and it reads "Ethan Dolan" on the first line accompanied by a picture of him In the corner and other information thats pointless to me or you. I chuckle at his cheesy smile, running my fingers over the little bubbled letters before placing it on the desk. "I'm sure he will be back for that tonight" I say softly before focusing my attention towards the paperwork, "I don't wanna do this shit" I mumble. I pull out a pen and continue filling out the paperwork reading over pointless information and questions I need to answer. I check off the boxes for which things I have wrong with me. I read over the "illnesses" and check off a few "schizophrenia, no, ADD, no, insomnia... Yes" I slowly check off the box and continue reading Down the list. Hearing illnesses I've never even heard before, and ones I face everyday. I finish up the paperwork and I take a seat on my bed. I sit against the wall, laying my legs flat. I bring my hands to my face and I just cry. I can't do anything about it. No matter how good my day was. When I'm alone and I'm not on my medication, Immense sadness takes over me. I cry my eyes out keeping my head low. There's a knock on the door but I don't notice it over my sobs. I shake as I cry into my own arms "hi Amanda I was ju- oh shit" he says as he sees me crying. It's Ethan, he runs over to my bed and sits next to me, rubbing small circles on my back "hey..." He says "I'm here for you okay?" He says and I nod "have you been taking your medication?" He asks and I shake my head. "Amanda you need to" he says and I shake my head "let me be crazy, no one cares anyway. No one wants me to be better anyway, why can't I just stay like this. Here, forever."
ETHAN POV |
My heart aches to see her like this, hearing her say these words. I will make her better, it's my goal to get her in a better state of mind. "No Amanda no, don't you wanna get out of this place and have a life to live. It's much better than this shitty place" I say rubbing her back. And she nods "I need help" she mumbles "that's what I'm here for" I smile lightly "I drop off your medication in the morning and at night, and we have our hour to talk about whatever you want. I want to help you Amanda. I want to make you happy. And make you better okay?" I ask and she nods "I'm gonna try" she sniffles "that's the best you can do" I say "and you can do it okay?" And she shakes her head "I don't know" she states and I nod "yes you can. I believe in you. More than you think" and she nods "thank you" she says hugging me and I wrap my arms around her. I could get used to it. No Ethan what are you doing you can't fall for her, I say to myself and I snap out of it. "Okay I'll see you later" I smile grabbing my card off her desk an Walking out the door.